swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (wankity wank wank)
*Misha will be on Ringer, thus the Ringer-watching will now commence, i hope he doesn't go on Two and a Half Men. or CSI. (sry, TaaHM or CSI watchers, just. not my cuppa.)

*sometimes i want to say "this except the opposite" after a comment i totally disagree with. but i don't. because believe it or not, i filter my bitchery. sometimes.

*i've read stuff i'm squicked by just to see if i get it. often times this achieves the opposite. i just get more confused and more squicked. sometimes though, "Oh, I guess I kinda get it."

*i used to be okay with PWP. i don't know what's wrong with me, but these days i can't take it.

*i was looking at some cosplay wincest, and got kinda squicked which makes me think that maybe i would actually be weirded out by wincest on screen. o.O funny thing is, i don't think i would be squicked by Destiel. which is weird because i ship wincest much more heavily than i do Destiel, and yet --i guess, because this is a brand new revelation-- i am squicked by visual incest? idek guys. j2 wouldn't squick me either. i don't know what to tell you.

*i read more books than i count for my yearly 100 goal. i don't count all of them, even if it means that my official list goes short, because i sometimes what i'm willing to try is just too damned embarrassing.

*my mind tends to see epithets as a sure sign of bad writing. like, maybe not irredeemable writing, maybe writing with loads of potential, but amateur writing nonetheless. if you write epithets and i've loved your writing? i probably erased them from my brain, just like you will with someone you might enjoy so much you don't mind if when they smile at you they have some lettuce in their teeth.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (sexay nerd action)
*i'm of two minds about "Time for a Wedding!" half of me wants to pretend that episode doesn't exist, because it screws around with my idea of what Supernatural is all about, it was riddled, just riddled with issues (u mad noncon for the lulz? no, son, just disappoint) and part of me cackled madly: Dean flailing like he gets paid by the flail was beautiful. ;D and there were images that looked so pretty and gifable. oh, my, slashy gawds, the image of the j2's in wedding suits. trufax, i pretended for half a second the j's were marrying each other in a Double Wedding with Gen and Dann. *sighs* i've also acquired a sweater-fetish, to go along with my freckle-fetish and once again i have this show to blame.

* the solution i think is to pretend the episode didn't happen, and that some clever fangirls cleverly maniped some clever wedding au, some professor Jensen AU and some gorgeously bearded professor Crowley. also, exhibit Sam-tied-down-to-a-bed for the kinkmeme. :D

*you know, i wish the fangirl and the nerdy-girl were as rehabilitated in the mainstream as the fanboy and the nerd-boy seem to be. sure, flake and quirky girl are all around, right? (Meg, Zoe, Sandra, ReneeZell, Luna, Amelie) but the nerdy girl is sad 'n lonely, unless she revamps herself. and the fangirl? well, she's a pathetic creature whose libido makes her lust for guys who would NEVER give her the time of day, getting above herself in the hierarchy of sexay hawtness and clearly this is a source of pity, derision and fuckloads of secondhand embarrassment. after all we all know that Becky might have a great personality, but she would only snag a guy like Sam if she pumped him full of love-juice.

* i'm not sure the writers are aware of what they're writing. no, not because they made fun of fangirls (grudgewank this ain't) but because making fun of fangirls is like the joke that's been done so many times you sneer at it unless you're trying your damnedest to be polite. only then can you manage a half-hearted chuckle. perhaps the writers think they're being clever and but. idk. i don't understand why they go for stereotypes and mainstream fuckery when they could go for originality and pushing-the-envelopeism, wtf have they got to lose? it's not like SPN is uber popular, they could pretty much get away with everything. so why go with the sameold sameold. i don't get it.

*in my head-fic, the wedding scene? turns into wincest or Destiel fanfic, because that scene is a scene in Becky's head and then Becky's blog. (also, because not even in Vegas can dead guys marry.) in reality, Becky decides to become a hunter. she tries to figure out the good luck/bad girl situation, because she's flawless, epic, smarty-pants but she's also a newb and she figures this might be a manageable job. once she realizes she's a bit in over head she contacts D. the brothers are in the neighborhood as part of their annual Vegas trip and they join up to shank the Crossroads Demon, to make the awesomeballs team that ever awesomed. surprise!Crowley swaggers in, insults Becky like a boss, Becky insults him back (I'm sure your dick has a great personality, three more inches should make four, because girls with great personalities know how to count) and swaggers out. like a boss. The End.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (shoes)
i'm kind of sucking at this blogowrimo thing, but i'm tryin' ya guys, i'm trying. plus, yesterday my internet access was for shit. my neighbor's wifi was working fine, but it was locked so i was all like a meme i saw in tumblr: NEIGHBORS WHY YOU HAVE LOCKED WI-FI? WHY, THOU?

Favorite movies by decade for images & stuff )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (puppy & his dog)
* RIP you gorgeous dog. i'm trying not to think about this too much, i can't really process animals dying.

* what i look for in fanfic in general terms. these are generalizations, because --as we all know-- a good writers can seduce us into making plenty of exceptions despite or worst or better judgment.

* in poetic terms what i look for in fanfic: between the shadow and the soul )

emotional exhibitionism, the need to Hollywood it up and seek public validation, or validation from certain people, the belief that your love ain't enough until you go to a dinner and have people clap as you tilt and kiss? squicks me quite as much as the squickiest thing you can think of. like a chan scat watersports noncon OOC fic. because it's reality tv masquerading as fanfic. my favorite fanfic authors do not take their inspirations from the Jersey shore or the Kardashians.

* i thought [livejournal.com profile] fleshflutter was coming back. it's taking longer than i expected and i'm not enjoying the wait. i also miss [livejournal.com profile] squishyball. *HOLDS UP A BOOMBOX* *IN YOUR EYES THE LIGHT THE HEAT IN YOUR EYES I AM COMPLETE*

* i totally missed the trenchcoat! how could i miss it? well, i had less than an optimal experience watching the show yesterday. i rudely invited myself to an SPN chatroom with [livejournal.com profile] angel_kink while she was less than inclined to discuss a show she's currently boycotting with me, for obvious fucking reasons, and proceeded to ignore me while talking about Carnivale, which she warned me was "slow but brilliant." i then left having realized the error of my ways, and it kind of shaped my opinion of the episode, which has been somewhat redeemed in my eyes with that day-after perspective one gets after the pounding headache of the hangover has abated. the pretty wincesty gifs in tumblr didn't hurt. who knew that tumblr was going to turn into my source of canon-squee. it's still no more than passable, but it's not poo (as i told [livejournal.com profile] drunkcascookies yesterday).
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
*Woke up for the Wincest*
Reaction: Woman in my screen. She dead.
*Woke up for the Wincest*
*Woke up for the Wincest*
Reaction: Black girl on my screen. Cute Dead Black girl waking.
*Woke up for the Wincest*
*Woke up for the Wincest*
Reaction: Cute Dead Black girl. Cute girl getting rescued.
*Woke up for the Wincest*
Reaction: Cute girl rescued.
*Woke up for the Wincest*
*Woke up for the Wincest*
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (keep it klassy)
Makes sense that the next day after I say I'm gonna do the blogowrimo I stay out until eleventy and now don't feel like writing a lengthy anything so. pics. taken with my ipad so they suck.

look at this? wtf. wtaf.

yes, you're looking at a pink limo. KLASSY.

which inspired my faboo nails (you can kind of see them in the bottom corner, and yes, they are black and sparklepoo pink) and that? that's the dinner of champions. my bff ate a veggie pizza. boo, hor.

eta: wanking Jensen seems to be a theme )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (cthulhu)
\o/ Umm. I'm doing the blogowrimo thing in November, so expect me to have a lot of opinions about a lot of stuff, and rants about books I've read and quotes and just random stuff you probably will tl;dr and no1curr. The entries will also have commercial interruptions. Such as...

This entry was brought to you by everything Lee Pace chooses to be

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XP Anybody else doing that or the nanowrimo thing? If you do let me know, and I'll read the crap out of you.

\o/ Could you guys please rec me Dean/Castiel where Castiel is hesitant and tries to resist the inhumanly strong temptation that is Dean Winchester? I don't rly read a whole lot of Destiel, but I'm rly hankering for that particular flavor of it. Also, Cockles. Send some Cockles my way. (I don't rly go for PWP's though, just so you know) or just any fic where Misha is showcased predominantly. I miss him so much guys, you don't know. Self-pimping is mandatory.

/o\ I think I'm going to be reading more Destiel from now on, because I am under the distinct impression that he's gone the way of Gabriel. Despite all Sera says to the contrary (or because all she says the contrary) I think Castiel is mostly gone and if he ever comes back, I don't think it will be in a satisfactory manner. So fanfic it is. *K-shrug*

/o\ The walking dead:
Shane is a douche mountain, no not a douche canoe, no. A douche mountain, and not a small one either that you can hike up in one day, oh no. That bitch will take you weeks. Just when I thought I couldn't think worst of him, I dislike him more now than when I disliked him before. Wtf is with you, dude? You're like your own fucking Iago or some shit, when the going gets tough you just grow more and more corrupt. Next time I'm rooting for the zombies (look at me swagger like I wasn't doing that already).
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (skeleton)
first of all HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! may the great pumpkin bring you goodies.



I'm having Nightshifter flashbacks-- wait, now it's Romanov family. shit.i used to watch that made for tv movie they used to give and i CRIED BUCKETS over the Romanovs when I was little. anybody know wtf i'm talking about? anybody? no? oh well.

Meatsicles sounds kinda homoerotic but in a bad way.

Above paygrade monsters. awww, Sandy was in MENSA. =( Miss the hell out her.

"I'm giving away all my secrets because I haven't the Evil Overlord List of what not to do when you're, you know, an evil overlord."

Sam and Dean Winchester Manhunt. How fucking awesome. I love when they're running from the po-pos. I want to read a really amazingsauce boys get arrested, mistaken for psychos, interrogated by FBI agents type of fic.

HAIR! lol see? we Sam-girls always knew hair was important. Cloned with hair. :D yay

"If you're going to be stupid, you might as well be smart about it," should be on the Winchester family crest.

One of those Agents is kind of cutie Tom Feltonish. #onceamalfoyalwaysamalfoy

this dude reminds me of Ronald from Nightshifter with his cyborg stories.

200 million cameras? WTF. i'm going to start Greta Garboing it and not get out of the house for ANYTHING. they're going to have to deliver those "Krispy Kreme" donuts to my house.

Mr. and Mr. Smith :::::::::::DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOMG!!!!!!!! Dean is Angelina Jolie. he has the lips for it.

off with his head? that's the secret? to Marie Antoinette it?

"Your Doublemints are using a car just like one outside." Holy shit. I knew this day would come.

Sheriff Sassy in the haaaaaaaaaaause. Nice things are happening to Bobby. Shit is going down. I'll never believe anything good will come to Bobby's life. Ever.

A my little pony + I'm so out of love
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The Leviathans are talking about Dean/Sam characterizations and some surprise PULP FICTION. They talked shit about Sundance blah blah blah Newman blah blah Redford but it's all about the "Quarantino."

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Dean/Dean :D:D:D:D:D:D

Cleanliness is holiness, you fucked up Leviathan dickwad.

"I'm not your brother."How much do I love Sammy's scared face?

booo i wanted more interaction between the fake brothers with the real brothers

Sam and Dean Winchester are dead. again.

Sheriff Sassy is seriously giving Bobby the look. you know the look, it's the same look fake-Dean (can't sing or maybe he can) gave real-Dean.



"Don't Roofie me and call it romance." I'm carving that shit on my ass, like that Twihard kid carved Edward on his arm.

"Kinda like you helped Amy?" Oh, baby. Whatever. Like you never lied to Dean. Yeah.

I understand though. I've fanfic'd this in my mind and I can see Sam thinking of Amy out in the world, with her son, like maybe he didn't have a mother --didn't deserve one, was always meant not to have one-- but that non-human little boy, he had a mom who would do anything for him. Monstrous soul-selling things for him. And now he's had his rug pulled from under him. Which yeah, temporary separation.

I guess this was the "I can't even look at you" scene they had to beta. Fuck it, bbs. It was "I can't even look at you right now" in my troll-head anyway. xD

The Walking Dead
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swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (emotionally yeeeeeessssssss :()
since i've been in fandom 3 writers have deleted their lj. today [livejournal.com profile] fleshflutter during the summer [livejournal.com profile] leonidaslion (who luckily left their AO3 (but it's not the same as an LJ --the commentary, the reviews, AO3 is just not as interactive)) and before that [livejournal.com profile] yourperiphery.

i've never been in a fandom where so many of its authors delete their ljs. i'm not saying it's not cool to delete your journal, i never would...and fanfic writers don't owe anybody anything, and there are perfectly valid reasons for not wanting to leave fanfic around or delete your journal, or do whatever you want just like the rest of us, but just--


it's sad. like a little death. =/ i hope it's just temporary. i hope that if it isn't temporary it's not because any RL or online problem.

i wish her well.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
every time i try to edit my last post (i tagged "united states of misha" for some reason o.O my subconscious has been invaded) it takes me to edit the post of strangers, which basically leads me to be able to see THE PRIVATE AND FRIEND'S ONLY POSTS OF COMPLETE FUCKING STRANGERS. WTAF, LJ?!?!?!

is anyone going through this fuckery?

okay, it's fixed now. o.O that was WEIRD.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (well that sucks)
* I admit to reading spnanon. I know! but I only read the actor posts. I know! but-- IDK. I missed the days when Sandy was around, and fanfic has made me seriously adore her (though wow, i love Gen too and i think GenJar is ADORABLE and Danneel, Danneeeeeeeel *_*) -- besides. I take everything with a grain of salt and I squint as I'm reading because THERE ARE SO CRAYCRAY PEOPLE ALL UP IN THAT MUDAFUCKA. Besides, how awesome that I found this: Read more... )

* apparently Jesen and Jared are now betas? they have to change their scenes so they're a bit less campy & romcom? I can just see it now; beta note: *Dude, could you like, make me sound less like a 13 yr old girl breaking up with her boyfriend while she's secretly recreating that one scene in "The Notebook?"* I have a beta note of my own: I WANT ASPERGERY ANGEL NAO.

* bought two mammoth anthologies with the zombie theme. :D:D:D:D:D:D shut up. it's my comfort foodBRAINZ! read. the good thing is that if the zombie apocalypse ever comes and i'm surrounded i can use the two books to kill them. one good chuck to the head and they're dead. again.

* do you guys like my icons? as you all know, i abide by the pink rule, because pink is for girls and girls are insipid, trivial, decorative but totally impractical. *death stare* i'm thinking of getting a new theme. if i do, do y'all have any recs?
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (my drunkcryes)
* Has anybody had Maple Budino? I've had it and I saw it recently raved about on TV. For anyone who hasn't had any, this is it. Right? Yummy. Well, this episode was like eating my budino and then finding a few flies in it. Basically: Yumyumyum NOOOOOOOOOOOOO Yumyumyumyum NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Budino bite: the Preshow Power Run. That Power Run & Ballerina stretch are life restoring. ;D (RDJ would approve)
Budino bite: Sam & Dean being brotherly aka "Yeah, okay. " I can see the Teencester fics from here. (rec me some and I'll love you forever.)
Budino bite: IS THAT A CASTIEL I SEE? It is! It is!
Budino bite: Dean in Red. Laaaaaaaaaaady in reeeeeeeeed, dancing with me. Cheek to cheek.
Budino bite: "I observe with my eyes." hehehe I beg to differ. Most of Dean's observations are heart-dick-gut based.
Budino bite: The Leviathan dude chillaxin' in his crap car with chillaxin' music. I'll miss that dude.
Budino bite: HAHAHAHAHAHA Restless leg syndrome HAHAHAHAHAHA Also, that car looked like a toy next to him. I thought he was gonna pick it up and throw it or put it in his pocket instead of move it like he did. But I guess leaning on it was better for errybody so.
Fly: Sexism; if Maggie wasn't all busy with her charity and other trivial stuff then Don wouldn't have cheated. O RLY?!?!
Budino bite: Spoiler Alert! :D Love when they use fandom slang in their show. It makes me glowey inside.
Budino bite: HEARTS IN MY CUPCAKES & Jenny (cute assistant) being "EW OLD MARRIED GUY ASIF"
Fly: Homophobia. Oh look at that conniving lesbian homewrecking lesbian conniver conniving to homewreck & now look at how she must die. How transgressive and non-faily. Or actually the opposite. Citation needed? Go here and here. ****
Budino bite: Dean trying to give relationship advice while getting so caught up in the kink side of things that he forgets what he's saying. MOVE ASIDE DR DREW!
Budino bite: A show where one of the characters claims to have bonked Christopher Columbus can't be all bad.
Budino bite: Maggie making Sam sit his ass down, son, and meaning it.
Budino bite: "You can unload. That's kind of what I'm here for!" *I AM PERV, HEAR ME FAP*

**** Yeah, it wasn't cool that Sue was machinating to keep the Witches apart, but she was written that way so that we could cheer when her head was cut off. It reminded me of when I saw "Braveheart" at the movies and a whole slew of people started cheering when the King threw the Prince's lover boy out of the window. I won't even ask you to not kill my gay characters Mainstream media (for that I have fanfic, where gay characters are heroes, get the boy or girl and save the world) I'll just ask you not to ask me to clap when it happens. Is that too difficult?

Random Notes:
\o/ I don't like Twilight and I don't write fanfic, but the "Hearts in my Cupcakes" scene made me think of domestic!Twilight. ;D I can just see Werewolf!Boy in an apron, and nothing else, umm, once he's of age O.O, cooking cupcake hearts for Edward.

\o/ How come Cas girls don't rly have a party comm, or is the party comm tumblr? tumblr is a good party comm. Except when the awesome fangirls are so frothy and flaily over their fictional gay cuties they shit on and handwave the concerns of real life gay cuties. That kinda sucks.

\o/ I love how Misha was tweeting pics of Jensen's eyes (my experience of fanfic Misha is not this romantic, fluffy Misha is now IC), because it made the lack of Castiel somewhat bearable.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (katie that sexay biatch)

Dean got a look in his eye like a deer stuck in the Impala's headlights, like Sam had seen that one time when they were driving down some back road late at night and a doe and her fawn had crossed the road in front of them. Sam never forgot how they stood frozen in place, and he'd never forgiven his father for hitting the fawn, although logically he knew it wasn't John's fault.

The little body had gone flying through the air and the doe had skittered off into the woods while her baby thumped onto the shoulder of the road and lay still and broken, its eyes blank in the moonlight.

The whole gruesome tableau had stayed with Sam for years, stuck in his memories, showing up in his nightmares whenever he was particularly angry at his father.

And that expression of frozen terror was what he saw on his brother's face whenever Sam got too close. Sam started deliberately brushing his arm across Dean's when he reached past him for the ketchup while they ate, or bumping his shoulder into Dean's when they tramped side by side through the woods, following along behind their father while he taught them the art of tracking..

Blues in the bod by extemporally

"How are the exchange students this term?" Andrew asked. He'd really wanted to go to the dinner they'd held to welcome the students from Columbia, except he'd bought tickets for the screening of The Man Who Fell To Earth at Modern Art Oxford and it'd so happened that the dinner and the film had been on the same day.

Ellen shrugged. Ellen was Canadian, but she wasn't an exchange student. She was an international student who decided she'd rather spend four years focusing on what she really loved (Biology; she wanted to live in an ecological commune someday) than "flailing around at a liberal arts school", and now she was in the third year of her degree. Last year she had been the college's LGBTQ representative and this year she was returning to the committee as the international students' rep. Andrew loved her. "Not bad," she said. "I sat next to this guy with dark curly hair who wouldn't say much. He had the bluest eyes, though."

"Sounds exactly like my type," Andrew told her, pretending to swoon. "Did you get a name?"

"I did, actually," Ellen said. "Jesse Eisenberg."

“Deception, deceit. The Shining One is a predator. Save the little ones: they have not yet had the chance to grow. Save the little ones.”

I frown. “We need to find this so-called Shining One.”

Spock nods and whispers against the bark, asking directions. I watch his lips and feel a familiar flip of yearning low in my stomach. I don't need this crap. It's probably just too much fresh air. I approach the tree myself and trace my hand over its gnarled flesh. “We've already beamed back some seedlings and we'll try to take as many as we can. Your children will not be lost.”

Spock's face seems slightly less serious, which means I've managed to shock the hell out of him. “It has understood you.”

I smile softly, patting the trunk. “I like this tree.”

Something terrifying flashes in Spock's eyes for a millisecond and I let my hand fall back down to my side. I couldn't have seen that. Jealousy? Over a tree?

“The Shining One is located three kilometers north in a large valley,” Spock says, his voice as cold as ever.

I must be going crazy.

Brendon still hadn’t gotten used to how quiet it was as an only child, even though he probably made enough noise to compensate for at least one or two siblings. He hummed obnoxiously as he headed for the kitchen without changing out of pajamas, figuring that if he managed to spill anything on himself, at least he wouldn’t be in his church clothes yet.

It was when he passed the window at the landing of the stairs that he realized something was off.

The sun was way too high for it to still be morning, which meant they should have been at church hours before. Brendon’s family never missed church. Tentatively, he called, “Mom? Dad?” as he jogged the rest of the way down the stairs.

There was no reply, and when Brendon got into the kitchen, it was empty.

“Huh,” he said, leaning against the doorframe to take stock of the situation. For a wild moment he wondered if they’d actually left without him—if the conversation from the previous night had actually stuck with them. It seemed unlikely, considering that his father had been pretty adamant when telling Brendon that it was church, or hell. Brendon was still proud that he’d refrained from answering that.

A hand catches Dean as he steps away, wraps all the way around his wrist, makes him look small, which Dean fucking well is not. "Dean. Thank you."


The hunter makes that almost-smile of his, like he's forgotten how to do it and he's just imitating everyone else. "Call me Sam, okay?"

"Yeah," Dean says, clutching the med kit tightly. "Okay. Uh, Sam."

"G'night, Dean." And then and then oh God, the almost-smile is more smile-like, and there are white teeth and oh shit dimples.

And then Dean's shutting the door behind him and he's got a hard-on for the eighth time today and he's sharing a shitty motel room with his dad and his twelve-year-old little brother, and he heads for the shower so he can jerk off over a really hot, definitely alcoholic, probably crazy and borderline suicidal hunter.

And this is why Sam Moore is ruining Dean Winchester's life.


P r o f i l e R e c s

swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (peace and fu)
I tried to make this spoiler-free and as general as possible while talking about it, but I'll put it under a cut if you feel it IS spoilerish.

* I didn't hate it. lol
* I do wish fanfic writers could have written the episode, though, because it was a good episode, well-acted, beautifully shot, with gorgeous lingering scenes, but
* There were moments when I felt like I was being manipulated into siding with Dean.
* Like if I didn't say, "Leave him alone, he shouldn't feel guilty about all this shit" then what I was saying was that I wanted him to die and that he was
* 90% shit. Strawman. That is not my argument.
* He's not irredeemable. He's not a waste. He's a beautiful, flawed, broken man.
* But he's not guiltless. He was guilty, just not of the things he seemed to feel guiltiest about.
* Dean does not get a free pass, though.
* He does look beautiful when he cries, he does look gorgeous all emo.
* The scene where he was psyching himself up to be with Mia was priceless,
* because I love that he's not really macho posturing Dean Winchester any longer.
* I know what you're thinking, that I'm just pissed about the Castiel thing.
* Actually, I think they went for J. because that was culturally acceptable, sensitive in the right way.
* You can show your love and need for a woman, specially once she's dead.
* It also painted Dean as a tragic romantic hero, gives him a cute, blond girl to stroke his cheek, lets him lean into one small long fingered manicured hand again. Which he does so well. Hopeless yearning fits him better than leather.
* Emotional manipulation doesn't bring out my nesting or motherly feelings though. You're barking up the wrong bitch.
* Dean does need to move on, but
* Amy was an episode ago,
* Castiel was two.
* Moving on this quickly would be heartless
* Callous
* Emotionally stunted
* Indifferent
* Cruel
* The bodies are not cold yet so
* Feel the burn when you swallow that whiskey guilt taste, Dean.
* ;D

That's my opinion. Don't know if it's unpopular or not, and I don't want to say it is because whenever other people say "unpopular opinion" I usually think "1. It's not an unpopular opinion, 2. aren't you the special snowflake with special unpopular snowflake opinions."
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (starfighter heart eyes)
1. My Flist is talking about Mary Sues again! Which seems to be really necessary, because people keep missing the point which is, DO NOT USE THE TERM MARY SUE AS ANOTHER WAY TO DISMISS FEMALE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. (Also, stop using the term to deflect the potentially sexist reason you ((yes, and I)) may have to hate a female fictional character. 'Cause I may hate a fic girl for a good reason, for a sexist reason, or for a good and sexist reason, but saying "She's a Mary Sue" may stop me from examining my reasons, and my prejudices and may slow my process in becoming slightly less faily).

2. Was going to look at a 7.4 promo thingy despite my former claims of spoilerphobia, but when I clicked on the play button and Sera's face apparitioned on my screen-- dear lord, it was like someone had just peed on my Krispy Kreams. you know how sometimes you don't like a certain fandom person, because they are like the nails scrapping a chalkboard of your Fandom life? and them you come across them in some comm or on yr dash? this is how I feel about about Sera. Just looking at her makes me feel sour, and this is not a good feeling. She's to me what Bucky fucken' Dent is to the Red Socks. Sera Fucken' Gamble. (I don't dislike her as a person. I dislike her writing and her decisions and how she blithely confesses not knowing what characters she is responsible for would do in X and Y situations. The way she works, to me, reflects a lack of respect for her audience. Aaaaaaaand I say all this because I am conscious of how this appears, defending fictional girls and criticizing a Real Life Woman in a position of power in the same post. C'est la vie, I'm snarky enough to shrug and wish she didn't suck so I didn't have to say she sucked.)

3. Nevertheless I was somewhat spoiled by a friend and apparently spoiler )

4. Got this from the tumblr Slaughterhouse90210 “She hated the nameless women in stories, as if they lived and died so that men could have metaphysical insights.”
—Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding

Sound familiar? huh? huh?

5. CONGRATS WORLD, BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY GETTING A NEW HAPPY AND FABULOUSLY HAIRED, POTENTIALLY MOOSEY ADDITION! In other words, congrats Gen and Jared. It's awesome when awesomeness comes together to create more awesome. As God, the first slasher told Adam and Eve when he got them together in that Garden, go forth and multiply. Or at least, practice. (makes perfect bbs).

6. Since we're talking about het (^ look above) lemme talk a little bit about this het fic read I read with future!Cas and Anna, and if anybody wants a look at it, i'll even scrounge up the link. Anyways, I was reading the fic, because my love of Jane has made me so much more open to het pairings (I always was okay with them, but I seldom went out searching because heterosexuality is so pervasive and fandom was like this breeze of non-heteronormative air or whatever, which I need less and less as more and more girls who are aware of queerness, aware of feminism, just, you know! aware write fics with girls with boys in ways which that are as transgressive as m/m or f/f ((and sometimes m/m and f/f or f/m/f or m/f/m fics are sadly not)) and I started weeping (inside) at how it could have been if we'd had Cas turn human instead of -- of-- whatever the hell happened. I could almost envision the barrage of bittersweet fic, when Cas realizes that if he wants to get from point A to point B he's going to have to do more than douche-squint, when he realizes his body needs sleep, sustenance, sex. When Dean starts looking at him differently because he IS different, himself yes, but a man also. Idk. They cheated themselves out of awesome canon and totally cheated us.

7. Comic rec: Starfighter. (look @ icon)

8. This year I read The Mind's Eye, Touching the Rock by Hull and now The Quiet Verse feels like a continuation. Jensen's written like a whole body listener, and while he's not ready to surrender to the silence (DO NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE SOUNDLESS NIGHT!) neither is he bitter about it. For some reason, while familiar and instantly recognizable is well and good, imo fresh and original always makes things seem realer. ;D

9. Communities I'm excited about/currently lurking/stalking: [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bookclub, [livejournal.com profile] sd_recs, and [livejournal.com profile] hd_canon_fest (I'm not rly that excited about that one ((not because the comm sux, just that my fandom spirit has waned on h/d)) but I'm using it to get into the H/D mood for x-mass because I've read hd_hols fanfic for the past 5 years and not doing it again would be too, too sad.)

10. tumblr is no longer enemy #1. it's actually lifting my spirits on the whole Cas issue. I know, I accept the title of Fickle Hor and thank you for the crown, it's lovely today, but I may change my mind so stick around. It's so full of Castiel is the ambassador of awesome, trufax and OMG AVENGERS MY BODY IS SO READY/EVERYTHING IS JOSS WHEDON AND NOTHING HURTS, SURPRISINGLY ((UNLESS HE KILLS LOKI, THE BAAASTERD)) that I just click, let my clicker roam and smile. like this: :D. tumblr, bringing a smile to my face since 5 seconds ago though before that it made me want to kick puppies in the face. WHO KNEW?
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (superhero)
i love Jane. LOVE HER.

I'm trying to find as many Thor/Jane fics as I can, because yes-- Loki is the raven-haired (you can tell I read fanfiction ;D) version of Draco, with his sharp features and sharper mind, his egotism and insecurity, his cunning deviousness and desire to be loved, but --bitch-- she giggled and stole my pants heart. ;D I expected Jane to be all feisty, or faux-indifferent to Thor's considerable assets, or hard-to-get because girl-agency is usually based on "you will rescue me and my vagina before I give her and me to you"-- but she was different than that. She was smart, and charming and girly without being insipid, and instead of dropping some scathing comment to shape him into a gent...she just...she just expected more from him, expected better. So I'm in love with Jane, basically is what I'm saying. I ship her with anybody. Anybody at all, as long as she's in there somewhere.

swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (teahouse- pensive)
Under the weather like nobody's business. Makes sense that now that I have a bit more fandom time on my hands because RL has quieted down a bit, I come down with a case of the emineffin' plague. I have to start exercising again, my constitution is for crap. Anyway, whine over (or let me whine about something else ;D) bullets to the rescue.

* Idk bbs. Is it just me or does this fandom like to see drama in the interwebs as well as on the screen? The restarted Sam girl v.s. Dean girl war thingy is so ridiculous. It's like now that canon's gotten rid of Castiel (got linked to a comment by mod from ontd spn who seemed to be dancing on his fictional grave-- which-- wow, dick move mod, I can't shit-talk j2 or Sera but you can Confetti! It's a parade! over the death of a fictional character a lot of people love?) by way of the most infamous Sam-girl ever, these people can go back to blaming one brother while excusing everything the other does, effectively demonizing one bro while infantilizing the other. And that's what it takes to be a True Fan? Blind love for one character? Count me right out, Stan and Bella. I'm Team Get Some Fucking Perspective. Bias: I'm a Sam- girl. spoily ranty spoiler )

* On other news, Pushkin is surprisingly like, easy to read. Read "Eugene Onegin" and it was a total breeze even though the narrator kept getting into it so much ("omg, Pushkin, fuck off!"). Also, I always said I didn't read Romance Novels until this year and I was sooooooooo wrong. Was rereading "The Witching Hour" by Batshit Rice (I'd read her as young teen) and erm-- that shit is a Romance Novel with witches. Also, I have so little patience with fanfics where they describe the characters in loving detail --I think that's kind of the height of amateurish because I'm a horrible nitpicker who picks...nits-- and apparently I had no trouble with that as a teen. Reading so much Fanfic has really made me think about writing, I guess, from a pseudo-technical pov. I was rolling my eyes so much I had trouble reading. Not that I didn't enjoy it, in a way, but I could see the cracks and the stuff I thought came from being unpublished and using fanfic as practice, which hey! totally valid as a fanfic'er less valid when you're a professional asking for the monies. Anyway, point is? Reading fanfic has made me a thinkier reader, which -- cool. Unexpected upside to seeking entertainment.

* Comic rec: Teahouse. My icon is from there, and isn't he pretty?

* Rec'd with prejudice: Land of the Blind I have cycles where I'm just continually hankering for a good apocafic and then cycles where I run away screaming like the fic is a zombie tryna eat my brainz. Also, I love Candle_Beck and her voice. Her voice was custom-made by Chuck to read SPN fic, for real. It's just so boyish, straight-talk, true grit sounding it drives me to eargasms (not actual orgasms, i'm not THAT creepy). Though sometimes, I admit my wussiness readily, I'm wary of her stuff -- because the writing is so honest that I never feel manipulated into feeling and so --fuck my heart breaking-- it cleaves me in two. Some of her fics I love more than others (I RESENT SOME OF HER FICS LIKE TRAUMAS) because I always enjoy hopeful, more than I love hopeless, and this fic, despite being apocalyptic (notice how I don't say POST-apocalyptic, meaning the apocalypse is not over folks), had a hopeful ending. Because, (shut up, I know it's trite) we all kinda go through an apocalypse of our own worlds. We all die. The story always ends with death, but what happens before that? Can leave you trembling, and hollow, and curled under the bed, or trembling, and full and stretched out on top of that same goddamned bed, hopefully next to someone else.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (the great g)
I kiss you because... by glassyskies

There are so many minutes but this is the one. (They’re all the one lately.) Jensen leans forward and breathes in and out carefully. The ice is everywhere. Blackly dangerous.

This is the exact minute I decided I’m in love with you. I’ll never love anybody else but you.

Jensen checks his wrists for a watch, but there isn’t one, not one that works. Only the accessories he needs to make him show up as believable onscreen.

He has been a dozen, more, other people without ever having been himself except now, this minute, this exact freezing day.

And he thinks, I’m useful, if you keep me. I fix your socks and find your left shoe when you lose it. Kissing you is never exactly perfect, which is why I love you the most.

trust graded on a curve by blackeyedgirl

Harvey had missed the beginning, the first time he heard this. This time, Mike says, “And I told you that I work with Harvey. And he didn’t… you’re not going to find anything. Even if you do convince Jessica to fire me. You won’t get anything on him.” He still looks scared but he holds his ground on this. Like here, finally, is where he’s taking a stand. On whether or not Louis can get Harvey fired.

On the plus point, Harvey now knows who he needs to kill. Clarity of purpose is important. He makes his entrance. “Louis. I believe we’ve spoken about this before.” He puts his arm around Mike’s shoulders, wondering at the sudden shiver.

Eventually, the meditation will not be enough. Going in and coming out is getting harder by the second, and the practice has long since ceased to be soothing or restful. His quarters are hot, heavy with incense smoke, but he shivers anyway, his body mocking him. Strength, discipline, his very being, all betrayed by the roiling burn building in the base of his spine, the pit of his belly. His mind is stretching, reaching out for a mind that isn't there, destroyed along with so many others.

He will lie here, barely breathing, as the blood fever soaks into his brain, robbing him of what little control he has left. He will cease to see, cease to understand, and will crave flesh...to tear, to possess, to claim. As every cell of his body screams at him, his mind will stretch until it snaps, seeking safe harbor in a bond that will never come.

“You can’t stop me,” Erik tells him. His lips tasted like the sunset his face was bathed in, his hands were cold. Another hour in another ugly hotel room, and no one talks about the fact home is a state of mind neither of them ever achieved.

“I can’t let you win, either,” Charles responds. The sheets are worn, his head is a pounding mess. There’s a neon light opposite making a handful of lying promises, a letter fizzing and sputtering.

Erik’s lips twitch. It’s not a smile but it feels like a crack in armour, a bead of light. He’s a lot more than he can ever let himself be, an eternal argument and perhaps it’s for the best.

“We’re at an impasse, then,” he says. He sounds almost relieved.

Nyota looks up from her datapad with a frown; two chairs to her left, Dr. McCoy straightens with an alarmed look that Spock interprets as belated dread. Setting down the requisition logs, Spock folds his hands and waits for the Captain to continue; there is nothing, he thinks, illogical about curiosity in how Captain Kirk will approach the problem Spock had recognized within two weeks of their departure from Earth.

"Captain?" Lieutenant Sulu says warily.

"Just--" Captain Kirk puts his datapad down and stands up. "I'm going back to bed. If the Romulans attack, call me to kill them. You know, when there's something to do."


*updated profile recs with spn, social network rps, strek, and bandom.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (whatevs)
the good )

the bad )

& the ugly:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

okay, not so much ugly as strangely compelling and sassy, but you get my drift.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (emotionally yeeeeeessssssss :()

this weekend i finally read Like Luggage of Some Departed Traveller by the inimitable [livejournal.com profile] britomart_is. she has some fics that are so amazingsauce (seriously, click those links, you won't be sorry) and epic and everything i look for in writing, and i never feel like i'm compromising in order to read about "the boys" and Aspergery boy angel (i really hate compromising). it was funny, because i'd just finished reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth," a story about the "Unconsecrated" and here i was starting a fic about "Croats." if the Zombie apocalypse ever comes, i'll be super prepared. i really enjoyed the fic, but i kinda wished we'd have a bit more croat intervention. you know what i mean? i understand that the most important aspect of the fic was the relationship between the characters (dear god, she writes a great Jess, her Dean is completely irresistible and Sam is gorgeous, inside out, even when you want to slap him with a brick) but i kinda missed the threat of Croat every once in a while; that delicious doomy feeling on the pit of my stomach which comes like a bad augur while i read zombie books or watch zombie movies simply wasn't there. she did deal with the OT3 flawlessly, and i --as y'all can see-- am rly rly picky. usually, my experience with OT3 fics is that someone gets just a little bit left out, everybody is so sophisticated and cool about everything that there's no conflict and the sex is so graphic it's soulless. not here. Brit is smarty pants enough to share the spotlight, to write these relationships in such an incredibly charming way, so enjoyable that they all feel vital, all feel necessary, and the sex is scorching and graphic, but never soulless. just hawt like fire. plus, jealousy plays a part in it, which is awesome. i hatehatehate perfect lovers and perfect relationships.

i also watched "Downton Abbey" which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. i'm not kidding guys. this is not the type of period show you watch because you've been told it's so educational and instructive and whatever pretentious blah blah-- this show is just entertaining and fun, and critically acclaimed (and great despite of that ;D).

the result of this mismatch (and Friday's premiere) was that last night i had these recurring dreams of Castiel as a Lord Castiel of Herdhamdonfordfordshire and Dean and Sam as Footman and Chauffeur respectively. i don't rly remember what happened, i just know that now i want to read SPN/DA x-over and that's not happening any time soon.

i did have a dream right before i woke up, which ended quite depressingly on the much written scene where Sam goes off to college, except i mixed it up with that "Thank you for curing me of my incurable obsession with love" scene in "Moulin Rouge." in my dream, Dean walks after Sam as he storm out ("If you go, stay gone.") and hands him an envelope. Sam looks at Dean, surprisedgratefulregretfulface on, he's about to say thank you or no i can't take this, and Dean replies with something to the effect that Sam "earned it" anyway, a wink and a roll of the hips to twist the knife. i woke up feeling tragic. lol

i've seen some debates going around (TUMBLR sneer + ugh!) about who was at fault here, like Dean had to forgive Sam for walking out on the family or Dean was being totally unreasonable about Sam leaving for college. reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" (where something similar happens) i finally understood that Sam leaving was heartbreaking for both of them. i mean, i kind of knew, but TFoHaT really made me totally feel the heartbreak.

i don't want to give too much away, because unwanted spoilers suck, but i think this is so SPN (and maybe just what seems to happen to Dean over and over again) that i wanna share it. xP

"I think that even then I knew I wouldn't be enough for you,...It's no longer about the ocean. It's about you and what you want and need. Maybe you'll be happy with me for a few years..."

He pauses and I can see tears flooding his eyes again. "I can't be your second choice dream."

"Would you give up the ocean for me?"

I hesitate, place a hand on the doorjam. I had once hoped, as it did for my mother, love would keep all other dreams at bay. The realization that it will not washes over me and I walk through the door, leaving him without an answer.


swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)

July 2015

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