swan_bite

Under the weather like nobody's business. Makes sense that now that I have a bit more fandom time on my hands because RL has quieted down a bit, I come down with a case of the emineffin' plague. I have to start exercising again, my constitution is for crap. Anyway, whine over (or let me whine about something else ;D) bullets to the rescue.

* Idk bbs. Is it just me or does this fandom like to see drama in the interwebs as well as on the screen? The restarted Sam girl v.s. Dean girl war thingy is so ridiculous. It's like now that canon's gotten rid of Castiel (got linked to a comment by mod from ontd spn who seemed to be dancing on his fictional grave-- which-- wow, dick move mod, I can't shit-talk j2 or Sera but you can Confetti! It's a parade! over the death of a fictional character a lot of people love?) by way of the most infamous Sam-girl ever, these people can go back to blaming one brother while excusing everything the other does, effectively demonizing one bro while infantilizing the other. And that's what it takes to be a True Fan? Blind love for one character? Count me right out, Stan and Bella. I'm Team Get Some Fucking Perspective. Bias: I'm a Sam- girl. ( spoily ranty spoiler )

* On other news, Pushkin is surprisingly like, easy to read. Read "Eugene Onegin" and it was a total breeze even though the narrator kept getting into it so much ("omg, Pushkin, fuck off!"). Also, I always said I didn't read Romance Novels until this year and I was sooooooooo wrong. Was rereading "The Witching Hour" by Batshit Rice (I'd read her as young teen) and erm-- that shit is a Romance Novel with witches. Also, I have so little patience with fanfics where they describe the characters in loving detail --I think that's kind of the height of amateurish because I'm a horrible nitpicker who picks...nits-- and apparently I had no trouble with that as a teen. Reading so much Fanfic has really made me think about writing, I guess, from a pseudo-technical pov. I was rolling my eyes so much I had trouble reading. Not that I didn't enjoy it, in a way, but I could see the cracks and the stuff I thought came from being unpublished and using fanfic as practice, which hey! totally valid as a fanfic'er less valid when you're a professional asking for the monies. Anyway, point is? Reading fanfic has made me a thinkier reader, which -- cool. Unexpected upside to seeking entertainment.

* Comic rec: Teahouse. My icon is from there, and isn't he pretty?

* Rec'd with prejudice: Land of the Blind I have cycles where I'm just continually hankering for a good apocafic and then cycles where I run away screaming like the fic is a zombie tryna eat my brainz. Also, I love Candle_Beck and her voice. Her voice was custom-made by Chuck to read SPN fic, for real. It's just so boyish, straight-talk, true grit sounding it drives me to eargasms (not actual orgasms, i'm not THAT creepy). Though sometimes, I admit my wussiness readily, I'm wary of her stuff -- because the writing is so honest that I never feel manipulated into feeling and so --fuck my heart breaking-- it cleaves me in two. Some of her fics I love more than others (I RESENT SOME OF HER FICS LIKE TRAUMAS) because I always enjoy hopeful, more than I love hopeless, and this fic, despite being apocalyptic (notice how I don't say POST-apocalyptic, meaning the apocalypse is not over folks), had a hopeful ending. Because, (shut up, I know it's trite) we all kinda go through an apocalypse of our own worlds. We all die. The story always ends with death, but what happens before that? Can leave you trembling, and hollow, and curled under the bed, or trembling, and full and stretched out on top of that same goddamned bed, hopefully next to someone else.

* "bitch" and c*nt (use of star to avoid possible triggers) are positive words to me. which is why, while i agree with the sentiment (Jared shouldn't have to worry about getting sexually harassed at cons) calling the woman who did it a "bitch" does not fly with me. at all. stop calling women who do something you don't approve of skanks and bitches. seriously.

* i've been watching "Community" to get to my happy place and omg, it's the best thing to happen to me since i found out that if you pour nutela in your Coke, the world may sneer at you and call you a teenage boy, but your life will be that much better. i need to find me some icons.

* this is epic ftw. i watched the vid yesterday --wait, was it the day before?-- morning and it made me cry my eyes out + grin like a loon all day. seriously beautiful. it's actually not that surprising to me. i've been called slurs (of the sexual orientation kind) in NYC (home of awesome people and rapist cops). never in the South and i lived in the South for a while and have only visited NY for weeks at a time at various stages in my life (because as i said, home of awesome people). (also ran into some trouble in Paris, which o.O, but there you go. being in a metropolitan area is no guarantee that you're going to be treated like a human being.)

* today must be my unbirthday (THANK YOU SO MUCH cherie_morte AND glassyskies ♥ ♥ NO WORDS, SERIOUSLY, NO WORDS.) :D:D:D:D:D:D

( cut for Cas-based cryes bc no1curr )

/o\ i wish that different people would audio the same fic. i get seriously turned off by certain voices. was listening to an audiofic for ~poisontaster and had to delete it, and it really sounded like the kind of fic i like-- but i just couldn't get into the voice/voice acting. am i the only nut who can't hear an audiofic if the voice doesn't personally jive? surely not. maybe this the sort of issue only really rude people mention and i'm being really rude without realizing. oh well. i wish audiofic'ers were less territorial/possessive about the fics they narrated, and there could be multiple recordings of fics. surely readers understand that they are not going to appeal to everyone.

/o\ was reading a fic and it started out marvelously. blind!psychic!Sam and Dean who doesn't know him, but needs him to find his father. loved the idea that there is more than one predetermined future ahead of us and that those who can see ahead (in fiction, because i don't believe in Ms Cleo-- YMMV) see more than one possible outcome. then at about chapter 4, gratuitous sexin' with no ratcheting up of tension, no building on connection, just abrupt let's get it on. had to quit reading after that because i was no longer interested. so annoying whenever authors plop down a sex scene (like shit from the sky, a smelly gift from the birds as it were) abruptly like that it feels like telling-intimacy instead of showing-intimacy.

\o/ read "The Wet Nurse's Tale" and thought the story was enjoyable. i seem to like loose women more than i do self-righteous prudes, even if one can claim moral superiority over the other one or whatever. probably my tendency to side with the sinner and side-eye the judge. which totally leads to why

\o/ people need to get off Cas's balls. seriously. Keep Calm and Get off his balls. (unless your name is Dean and you're trying to balance yourself on them. if that's true, then save a halo, ride an angel. you go, boy.)

\o/ i've come to the conclusion that it's not that i love Cas girls (after all, i am a Sam girl who mostly reads S/D) but that tend to hang with fangirls who

- have some sense of perspective
- don't hate all the female characters on the show
- don't confuse "Lisa is 2-dimensional" with "Lisa is a hor, i hope she dies" (creepy hypocrites)
- don't make every argument from the pov of character bashing/character stanning
- know how to share screen time
- appreciate the immortal trolly genius of Ben Edlund
- understand the difference between loving a character and excusing/justifying every action a character makes at the expense of every other character
- don't think of Cas as a BOYFREND stealer, interloper, usurper

i think it's because i had spent hours (marathoned the seasons like they were coke and i was Tony Montana) not years with the Winchesters before boy-angel came along. for me it was a welcome addition, for others it might have broken the tension of WE LIVE ONLY FOR EACH OTHER, WITH EACH OTHER, BY EACH OTHER. the claustrophobia of that relationship might have been something the Wincesters cherished. for me it was like, beautiful, blue-eyed, odd, socially awkward, Aspergers angel with wings? sign me right up. *shrugs*