swan_bite

* I have some of yourperiphery 's fics. If anybody wants them, hit me up.

* Apparently, only jetaimerai hasn't received the Holiday package. Everybody else got theirs. I sent another today, because it's not fair you haven't gotten anything. If you get two, dollface, then good for you.

* I made an easily misunderstood cis-sounding comment in Fanficrants and so I'm trying to find books that deal with transgendered people. I have friends who are transgendered and *TMITMITMIcoolstorybro* but that means diddly, and I'm well aware of how "I have friends who are X, Y, Z" sounds. In fact, I'm not even sure I'm using the term correctly or I sound like a cis-douche. Funnily enough, I was reading Beauty Queens and got some surprise ex-Boybander/Transgendered woman (inspired by Justin Timberlake, I shit you not) and I saw it as destiny. Fate doesn't want me to be an ignorant cis and this will the year of LEARNING. My F-list if fabulous, so if you guys have read any novels or nonfiction about any of this or have watched amazing life-altering movies, pls help me.

* I told my bff I wanted to read Proust this year, because of reasons having to do with wanting to make ALL THE SHIT democratic, and she said, "Ew." And I was like, rme bitch, don't discourage me, and she was all like, "If Proust was alive these days he'd be a twitter addict. 'For a long time I used to go to bed early.' What the hell is that?" LOLIRL Nonetheless, I'm gonna strive to read Vol. I 'cause, damn it. Proust should be read by errybody, snobby dickheads be damned.

* Read the second book of the Vampire Academy series (Frostbite) and liked it plenty less than the first. I did snort at the killing-of-dude-for-womanpain, but meh. Read The Privilege of the Sword and enjoyed it more than I thought I would after not rly enjoying The Fall of Kings. I was super surprised that there was a rape scene in it, because the mood didn't seem to merit it (yeah, I know, that sounds weird; wtf is the mood for rape?) Like, okay, Riverside used to be a brutal place back in the day, but in this novel there was no resonance to any of the tragedies. It was like, weirdly lighthearted rape, murder and disability. o.O Plus, as always with Kushner's stuff, the threads feel a bit loose and frayed. I know, nit picker from nit picker hell. Idek. It's not like I necessarily consider this a flaw, but I just always feel like I'm going to meet people who are not going to matter further on and that there will be plots that will be left hanging in the air or resolve themselves abruptly. I once read the phrase "fanfic for invisible canon" and I think I could apply that to TPotS. Despite all this bitchin' I liked it. 3 star-eyes or whatever.

* WATCHED ALL THE REVENGE AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. you bitches probably never watched Telenovelas, but this is the Girlfriend Telenovela experience. i? am incredibly addicted and anybody who loves to see fierce bitches displaying their fierce bitchery like fiercely bitching bitches should watch it. :D



* On other news, I'm still on Season 2 of Lost. :D I regret nothing, no surplus of fucks given here.

1. My Flist is talking about Mary Sues again! Which seems to be really necessary, because people keep missing the point which is, DO NOT USE THE TERM MARY SUE AS ANOTHER WAY TO DISMISS FEMALE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. (Also, stop using the term to deflect the potentially sexist reason you ((yes, and I)) may have to hate a female fictional character. 'Cause I may hate a fic girl for a good reason, for a sexist reason, or for a good and sexist reason, but saying "She's a Mary Sue" may stop me from examining my reasons, and my prejudices and may slow my process in becoming slightly less faily).

2. Was going to look at a 7.4 promo thingy despite my former claims of spoilerphobia, but when I clicked on the play button and Sera's face apparitioned on my screen-- dear lord, it was like someone had just peed on my Krispy Kreams. you know how sometimes you don't like a certain fandom person, because they are like the nails scrapping a chalkboard of your Fandom life? and them you come across them in some comm or on yr dash? this is how I feel about about Sera. Just looking at her makes me feel sour, and this is not a good feeling. She's to me what Bucky fucken' Dent is to the Red Socks. Sera Fucken' Gamble. (I don't dislike her as a person. I dislike her writing and her decisions and how she blithely confesses not knowing what characters she is responsible for would do in X and Y situations. The way she works, to me, reflects a lack of respect for her audience. Aaaaaaaand I say all this because I am conscious of how this appears, defending fictional girls and criticizing a Real Life Woman in a position of power in the same post. C'est la vie, I'm snarky enough to shrug and wish she didn't suck so I didn't have to say she sucked.)

3. Nevertheless I was somewhat spoiled by a friend and apparently ( spoiler )

4. Got this from the tumblr Slaughterhouse90210 “She hated the nameless women in stories, as if they lived and died so that men could have metaphysical insights.”
—Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding
Sound familiar? huh? huh?

5. CONGRATS WORLD, BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY GETTING A NEW HAPPY AND FABULOUSLY HAIRED, POTENTIALLY MOOSEY ADDITION! In other words, congrats Gen and Jared. It's awesome when awesomeness comes together to create more awesome. As God, the first slasher told Adam and Eve when he got them together in that Garden, go forth and multiply. Or at least, practice. (makes perfect bbs).

6. Since we're talking about het (^ look above) lemme talk a little bit about this het fic read I read with future!Cas and Anna, and if anybody wants a look at it, i'll even scrounge up the link. Anyways, I was reading the fic, because my love of Jane has made me so much more open to het pairings (I always was okay with them, but I seldom went out searching because heterosexuality is so pervasive and fandom was like this breeze of non-heteronormative air or whatever, which I need less and less as more and more girls who are aware of queerness, aware of feminism, just, you know! aware write fics with girls with boys in ways which that are as transgressive as m/m or f/f ((and sometimes m/m and f/f or f/m/f or m/f/m fics are sadly not)) and I started weeping (inside) at how it could have been if we'd had Cas turn human instead of -- of-- whatever the hell happened. I could almost envision the barrage of bittersweet fic, when Cas realizes that if he wants to get from point A to point B he's going to have to do more than douche-squint, when he realizes his body needs sleep, sustenance, sex. When Dean starts looking at him differently because he IS different, himself yes, but a man also. Idk. They cheated themselves out of awesome canon and totally cheated us.

7. Comic rec: Starfighter. (look @ icon)

8. This year I read The Mind's Eye, Touching the Rock by Hull and now The Quiet Verse feels like a continuation. Jensen's written like a whole body listener, and while he's not ready to surrender to the silence (DO NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE SOUNDLESS NIGHT!) neither is he bitter about it. For some reason, while familiar and instantly recognizable is well and good, imo fresh and original always makes things seem realer. ;D

9. Communities I'm excited about/currently lurking/stalking: spn_j2_bookclub, sd_recs, and hd_canon_fest (I'm not rly that excited about that one ((not because the comm sux, just that my fandom spirit has waned on h/d)) but I'm using it to get into the H/D mood for x-mass because I've read hd_hols fanfic for the past 5 years and not doing it again would be too, too sad.)

10. tumblr is no longer enemy #1. it's actually lifting my spirits on the whole Cas issue. I know, I accept the title of Fickle Hor and thank you for the crown, it's lovely today, but I may change my mind so stick around. It's so full of Castiel is the ambassador of awesome, trufax and OMG AVENGERS MY BODY IS SO READY/EVERYTHING IS JOSS WHEDON AND NOTHING HURTS, SURPRISINGLY ((UNLESS HE KILLS LOKI, THE BAAASTERD)) that I just click, let my clicker roam and smile. like this: :D. tumblr, bringing a smile to my face since 5 seconds ago though before that it made me want to kick puppies in the face. WHO KNEW?

this weekend i finally read Like Luggage of Some Departed Traveller by the inimitable britomart_is. she has some fics that are so amazingsauce (seriously, click those links, you won't be sorry) and epic and everything i look for in writing, and i never feel like i'm compromising in order to read about "the boys" and Aspergery boy angel (i really hate compromising). it was funny, because i'd just finished reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth," a story about the "Unconsecrated" and here i was starting a fic about "Croats." if the Zombie apocalypse ever comes, i'll be super prepared. i really enjoyed the fic, but i kinda wished we'd have a bit more croat intervention. you know what i mean? i understand that the most important aspect of the fic was the relationship between the characters (dear god, she writes a great Jess, her Dean is completely irresistible and Sam is gorgeous, inside out, even when you want to slap him with a brick) but i kinda missed the threat of Croat every once in a while; that delicious doomy feeling on the pit of my stomach which comes like a bad augur while i read zombie books or watch zombie movies simply wasn't there. she did deal with the OT3 flawlessly, and i --as y'all can see-- am rly rly picky. usually, my experience with OT3 fics is that someone gets just a little bit left out, everybody is so sophisticated and cool about everything that there's no conflict and the sex is so graphic it's soulless. not here. Brit is smarty pants enough to share the spotlight, to write these relationships in such an incredibly charming way, so enjoyable that they all feel vital, all feel necessary, and the sex is scorching and graphic, but never soulless. just hawt like fire. plus, jealousy plays a part in it, which is awesome. i hatehatehate perfect lovers and perfect relationships.




i also watched "Downton Abbey" which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. i'm not kidding guys. this is not the type of period show you watch because you've been told it's so educational and instructive and whatever pretentious blah blah-- this show is just entertaining and fun, and critically acclaimed (and great despite of that ;D).

the result of this mismatch (and Friday's premiere) was that last night i had these recurring dreams of Castiel as a Lord Castiel of Herdhamdonfordfordshire and Dean and Sam as Footman and Chauffeur respectively. i don't rly remember what happened, i just know that now i want to read SPN/DA x-over and that's not happening any time soon.

i did have a dream right before i woke up, which ended quite depressingly on the much written scene where Sam goes off to college, except i mixed it up with that "Thank you for curing me of my incurable obsession with love" scene in "Moulin Rouge." in my dream, Dean walks after Sam as he storm out ("If you go, stay gone.") and hands him an envelope. Sam looks at Dean, surprisedgratefulregretfulface on, he's about to say thank you or no i can't take this, and Dean replies with something to the effect that Sam "earned it" anyway, a wink and a roll of the hips to twist the knife. i woke up feeling tragic. lol

i've seen some debates going around (TUMBLR sneer + ugh!) about who was at fault here, like Dean had to forgive Sam for walking out on the family or Dean was being totally unreasonable about Sam leaving for college. reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" (where something similar happens) i finally understood that Sam leaving was heartbreaking for both of them. i mean, i kind of knew, but TFoHaT really made me totally feel the heartbreak.



i don't want to give too much away, because unwanted spoilers suck, but i think this is so SPN (and maybe just what seems to happen to Dean over and over again) that i wanna share it. xP


"I think that even then I knew I wouldn't be enough for you,...It's no longer about the ocean. It's about you and what you want and need. Maybe you'll be happy with me for a few years..."

He pauses and I can see tears flooding his eyes again. "I can't be your second choice dream."

"Would you give up the ocean for me?"

I hesitate, place a hand on the doorjam. I had once hoped, as it did for my mother, love would keep all other dreams at bay. The realization that it will not washes over me and I walk through the door, leaving him without an answer.

let it be known this is just my opinion blah blah blah i'm very picky blah blah blah sometimes i'll change my mind the more i think about a book and often i'll like it less and less blah blah blah.

AWESOME:
Swordspoint (relevant to slashy interests)
The Mismeasure of Man
Jane Eyre
Push
The Hunger Games (the first one)
Kushiel's Dart (relevant to slashy & femmeslashy interests)
Dragon Soul (Fandom authors)
The Master and Margarita
Slaughterhouse Five

COOL:
The Road (sadface)
The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas (sadface)
The Wet Nurse's Tale (saucy & sadface by turns)
The Panda's Thumb
Catching Fire (i started liking the series less and less with each new installment)
The Graveyard Book
Havemercy (Fandom authors)
Shadowmagic
Liquor: A Novel (relevant to slashy interests)
Gone with the Wind (compellingly readable)

YUCK:
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (zzzzzzzzzzzz)
Blood Brothers (i tried, but the Romance genre is not my cuppa. not the author's fault.)
The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks
Wes & Toren
Silver Phoenix (this one moved from the like pile, to the meh pile, to the yuck pile)
Zero at the Bone
Dead until Dark
Mockingjay

MEH:
The Lincoln Lawyer
Whistling in the Dark

BOO for

*the argument i've seen going around of, "OMG CAS CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT DEAN DOESN'T CALL YOU EXCEPT WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR HIS/HIS FAMILY'S WELL-BEING BECAUSE HE'S CONSIDERATE AND DOESN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU WHILE YOU DO YR THING IN HEAVEN." because that's a load of bs. i mean, really? when one of yr friends is involved in a Perfect Storm of Poo you call them up, offer to help, even if there's nothing you can do. /rachel

* i was reading this J2 fic which seemed to look promising (wtf do i know) and i was a little iffy from the first (the style of writing was a bit o.O for me) but i'd read a Jared/Jensen fic in the past where Jensen was this homeless guy and Jared took him (that's believable as all hell to me) so i wanted to find a fic where Jared was the homeless guy and Jensen took him in (less believable/more of a stretch imo) but i couldn't stand the fic. i had to get the hell out of Dodge --almost broke my mouse backclicking-- because it was one of those OH WHAT HAVE I DONE! fics and apparently i have acquired some kind of allergy to the WHAT HAVE I DONE trope where one of the characters makes a mistake and spends the whole fic trying to make up for his oh so horrible mistake while the other character acts like a complete woobie. makes me want to slap people across the face with magic bricks. for real. like, i never realized how much i hated those kinds of fics and how manipulative they felt to me. ewwww. i'd rather read a chan scat watersport noncon mpreg fic. no, i wouldn't, but almost.

*CAPTIVE PRINCE UPDATE WTF ARE YOU? *MY CRYES*

YAY! FOR

*Baby West being so chuckblessed adorable. OMG. already a scenestealer, i swear. ♥
* SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER \O/ BE OVER, BE CHUCKDAMNED OVER.
*SPN CHAT. i had an awesome time last friday. those girls are cray-cray.
* Jensen living it up in a Ren-F and looking scrufftastically gorgeous. that kind of thing reminds me that actors are actually artists and that it's not just about the business.
* Jane Eyre being as awesome as i remember and more than i remembered.
* THE GREEN LANTERN stfu. i know. i know, frat boy doing his frat boy thing, idgaf. I LOVE THAT OATH, THOUGH. I LOVE IT. plus, Blake is really, really hawt in that coltish way that makes me want to see her walk and stumble and dress up her boyish body so that it looks kind of androgynous. *shrugs*

*looking at all the con vids (seriously? the people who vid, the people who photograph and twitter and transcribe, the people who compile all this epic together? you are so fucking awesome. dear god. i have no words. seriously.) and though J2 have chemistry up the wazoo, Misha and Jensen have kind of a --idk how to describe it. like, Jensen always seems to act all steady, logical, timid and commonsensical next to Jared's crazy, goofy crackiness, but with Misha it's almost like they have this friendly competitiveness of who is going to be more cray-cray and more up for anything? it's really genius to see Jensen loosen up like that and Misha preform for him like some weird form of courtship behavior. no, i don't actually believe anybody's sleeping together ('cept possibly Sebastian with ERRYONE) but yeah. if this wasn't real life, Misha would be displaying. ;D

*i need to watch Hawaii like yesterday. errybody's raving about how everything is gay and nothing hurts unless you want it to and i'm HELLA INTRIGUED.

*read "Push" which was awesome. i'd read some of Sapphire's work before, so i was totally prepared for the high kick to the solar plexus which is how most of her writing feels like. i did think it was gonna take me a bit of time to accommodate to the jargon/slang/Precious' particular way of spewing, but no. the writing was relentless enough that i felt carried along. haven't seen the movie yet and don't find myself particularly inclined to, which i guess is weird, but-- well, it's like when you watch something you love, but don't have any desire to find any fanfic.

*tis the month no? (the one i read was about "wilding" or something like that, basically about men looking for young women to gangrape in the park. this one is less gut-wrenching.)

Breaking Karma #5
by Sapphire

I

It is like a scene in a play.
His bald spot shines upward between dark tufts of hair.
We are sitting in a pool of light on the plastic
covered couch, Ernestine, his last live-in,
ended up with. But that is the end.

We are sitting in the beginning of our lives now
looking at our father upright in his black
reclining chair. It's four of us then, children,
new to Los Angeles--drugs, sex, Watts burning,
Aretha, Michael Jackson, the murder of King,
haven't happened yet.

He is explaining how things will be--
Which one will cook, which one will clean.
"Your mama," he announces, "is not coming."

Two thousand miles away in the yellow
linoleum light of her kitchen, my mother
is sitting in the easy tan-colored man's lap.
Kissing him. Her perfect legs golden like
whiskey, his white shirt rolled up arms
that surround her like the smell of cake baking.

"Forget about her," my father's voice drops like
a curtain, "she doesn't want you. She never did."

II

Holding the photograph by its serrated edges, staring,
I know the dark grey of her lips is "Jubilee Red"
her face brown silk. I start with the slick
corner of the photograph, put it in my mouth like it's
pizza or something. I close my eyes, chew, swallow.

*those photographs of 6x18 are making me grin for days. ( spoilerspoiler )

*i was re-reading "Gone with the Wind" --which I hadn't read since idk? childhood? i've always been kind of curious about the South, so from an pretty early age i started reading books set in Dixie like they were set in a foreign country. reading GwtW is more like reading fantasy, no-- more like reading about a Dystopic world where a society fueled by slavery is considered glamorous and precious. that's the only way I could read about a Rhett Butler who killed an "uppity" n-word for insulting a white woman and not vomit up rage, because i remembered exactly how i read WATCHMEN and just When in Rome'd it. i guess that's how most people read GwtW these days. i hope it's not for the romance, though i've got to admit that Scarlett/Butler are the most dysfunctional couple in Christendom and assholes can be strangely attractive in fiction. they're like Liz and Darcy without any of the redeeming qualities that make all the fangirls want to be Darcy and want to marry Lizzie. ;D the novel was so freaking readable i pretty much breezed through the gazillion pages. now I want to read "Kindred" by Octavia E. <3

*furiosity is looking for great female characters of the last 20 years, here. some of mine? Elena, Carne Tremula; Agrado, Todo Sobre Mi Madre; Ofelia, Pan's Labyrinth; Shoshanna, Inglorious Basterds; Mathilda, The Professional; Phedre, Kushiel's Dart; Patty Hewes, Damages; Nicolette Grant, Big Love. there are a lot more inspiring ladies, but i thought these were mainstream/obscure enough (maybe not) not to overlap and be rec'd over and over.

TWO DECADES OF LADIES <--TUMBLR**
in f.'s words: I define a "great" female character as anyone who has inspired me, whose actions or words moved me in a way that lasted, or who is memorable to me in an empowering way -- your definition doesn't have to be the same, and we don't have to agree on what's inspiring, lasting, or empowering.