swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (whatevs)
the good )


the bad )

& the ugly:
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okay, not so much ugly as strangely compelling and sassy, but you get my drift.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (shave my summer)
* "bitch" and c*nt (use of star to avoid possible triggers) are positive words to me. which is why, while i agree with the sentiment (Jared shouldn't have to worry about getting sexually harassed at cons) calling the woman who did it a "bitch" does not fly with me. at all. stop calling women who do something you don't approve of skanks and bitches. seriously.

* i've been watching "Community" to get to my happy place and omg, it's the best thing to happen to me since i found out that if you pour nutela in your Coke, the world may sneer at you and call you a teenage boy, but your life will be that much better. i need to find me some icons.

* this is epic ftw. i watched the vid yesterday --wait, was it the day before?-- morning and it made me cry my eyes out + grin like a loon all day. seriously beautiful. it's actually not that surprising to me. i've been called slurs (of the sexual orientation kind) in NYC (home of awesome people and rapist cops). never in the South and i lived in the South for a while and have only visited NY for weeks at a time at various stages in my life (because as i said, home of awesome people). (also ran into some trouble in Paris, which o.O, but there you go. being in a metropolitan area is no guarantee that you're going to be treated like a human being.)

* today must be my unbirthday (THANK YOU SO MUCH [livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte AND [livejournal.com profile] glassyskies ♥ ♥ NO WORDS, SERIOUSLY, NO WORDS.) :D:D:D:D:D:D

cut for Cas-based cryes bc no1curr )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (pondering)
dear cas-cas,

i ain't gonna lie, our background has been a bit spotty, boy. i used to be all about the sam and dean and ONLY the sam and dean. i adored their co-dependency, and had come to grudgingly accept that everybody else was more or less disposable like toilet paper --if toilet paper could bleed, be disemboweled and/or decapitated (except bobby, chuck bless him). you get the point. so when you came along i'll admit i was fine about it, doubtful, but i wasn't -- you know? overjoyed? not in the very beginning. i was too pro-human back then.

i mean, angels. ANGELS. winged dudes who dispensed miracles in a somewhat capricious manner. the world was about to be bad-touched by the angels, hell-bent on the apocalypse. dickish angels galore, beings fierce and sociopathic who reminded me of Gordon Gekko. you, well, i started loving you because you were adorable, hella conflicted (Team Destiny v.s. Team Free Will) and didn't seem exactly neurotypical.

then you told dean you saved him from perdition and behaved like --er-- you know, like you behave? and i thought, "this is like a scientist dude who can be so brilliant and artistic that he can create a mathematical formula that explains the whole freakin' Cosmos, but who kind of dreads going to Post Office because interacting with the Post Master is OMG so overwhelming."

the lack of personal space, the looks and dramatic declarations, which you delivered like you were giving out facts and statistics, made me feel for you. it reminded me of this boy i had known in high school who followed one of my guy friends like a puppy with an intensity that made it clear he'd never had a best friend before. that boy went through a real harsh time after we graduated. lost himself in drugs, led a self-destructive lifestyle. i think he felt lonely.

the sob stories about deadbeat dads and being abandoned? struck a deep chord in me. i know about deadbeat dads too and i am also still looking for my family, among my friends, among my loved ones. i know i've found some people, i know there are more to be found. i know some of my family will find me.

people will disappoint you, friends will betray you, and sometimes, yes ***worst of all*** you'll be the one disappointing and betraying. right now you're going through a rough time, like the boy i talked about, like myself at one time. i know what it's like to lose people you love. to lose yourself even.

know there are many who love you, who know exactly who you are because they can see themselves in you. humans who are inspired by your work and your story. don't lose hope, don't give up on ever finding your family. you will, baby, you will. maybe you already have.

con mucho amor,
Filo

write yours.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (bunny)
in fiction, as in reality, what counts many times is not whether the two characters/people actually consummate their relationship either by words (you know, asexual romantic people) or by actions (sexy tiems!) but whether there is the great and on the edge potential for a romantic relationship.

if we claim we are all about “show, don’t tell” then Cas/Dean are certainly about that. i’m not saying that this is the only possible interpretation to the canon— I would never say that. yet, i resent the accusation that if i do see their relationship as romantic i am using my slash goggles. no, i am not. i am perfectly happy with seeing two men love each other without adding any sort of sexual element to the equation and some of the Dean/Cas stories i most adore are no more graphic than canon is (little touches & intense and/or loving looks). i do think there’s a romantic element to how Castiel thinks of Dean, even if sometimes i consider it one of the most gorgeous, tragic, unrequited love stories of all time. (not because Dean doesn’t return the love, but because he doesn’t recognize it for what it is.)

maybe it’s because i love epistolary love-stories (sometimes the characters have never seen each other when they’re already embroiled in a passionate love-affair; Griffin & Sabine, anyone?) and i ship Abelard and Heloise (Abelard was castrated, yikes! no sexing for them— also Francis/Claire? no sexing, loads of romance, though). for me, the sexual element is secondary to the great meeting of two souls that could be embodying any bodies at all. besides, in fiction, if it’s not ALL about the titillation and the hawtness and it’s a little bit about something else, then the sex is also a metaphor for “the profound bond.” just like “the profound bond” can then be a metaphor for sex.

***

reblogged as a reply to another meta post (by homoerotics) from my tumblr found here. (trust-you-less)

;D i can't promise i'll ever post anything of any sort of substance or whatevfuck, but if you have a tumbler i'd like to follow you. so, umm, tell me where it is, bbs? <3 ty!

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