![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
\o/ lemme just say that i love when strapping young men cuddle each other like cats. for realsies, it's better than sex to me. xP shut up.
/o\ i have been trying to steer clear off any spoilers for S7-Supernatural because i'm worried i'll get my heartbroken and suffer horribly beforehand and during and then after. better to just suffer during and after, despite all rumors to the contrary i am not a masochist. i am apprehensive though. that dread horror movie feeling you get when you know shit is about to go down like Jason on the Titanic. i'm so scared for Castiel-- not necessarily that he may die, because who are we kidding here, this is Supernatural, Jesus's resurrection is nothing next to these biatches. but i am worried that they might ruin the character beyond repair and that Cas-haters will use shoddy canon to get their Cas-hateration on. anyway, i'm already prophesying evil stories in my head, i don't need hysterical commentary and spoilers to make it worst.
\o/ read "Feed" by Mira Grant, and are now even more obsessed than i used to be about zombies. i love apocalypse movies, books, comics. when i was a kid i'd watch and rewatch "The Plague" with Raul Julia and William Hurt like other kids watched "Goonies."
"Feed" is a near-future political thriller where bloggers are respectable journalists with government licenses & pack heat, the Zombie Apocalypse has actually happened, and we survived thanks to savior of mankind: George Romero. WHAT WOULD GEORGE ROMERO DO? there are quite a few zombies still walking the Earth ready to eat us, but we've got the proper technology to survive them, and we do just like we used to survive all the other predators that tried to eat us back in the day of caves and clubs and bows and arrows. in this AU, there are different types of bloggers: Fictionals (who write fic & poetry), Stewarts (who give you news/opinions), Irwins (pokingcrocks zombies is their specialty), and Newsies (they give you the news straight up, no thrills and frills). in the middle of all this are Newsie!George and Irwin!Shaun Mason, an intrepid brother-sister duo who have been chosen to follow a political candidate in the road to the presidency. it's a book for nerds. yeah, the zombies are a constant threat, but the science behind the infection is a big deal (OMG I FUCKING LOVE WORLD-BUILDING SO MUCH I WANT TO GAY MARRY IN IT IN NY) and so are the characters. in the end, it's not the zombies who are the real bad guys in this story... this is what i love about good sci-fi, how it puts things on a grand scale in order to magnify the little things without being twee or corny about them. love and living large and carpe diem are not that trite when tomorrow your granny might be munching on yr brain.
in a way it's also an issues book (politics/corruption, the integrity of the news & journalists, fame whores, the culture of fear, terrorism, the role of Religion without discernment in promoting wtfuckery, truth and how far you'll go to preserve it, etc.). but a well written issues book. like, it transcends the issues and is all about the story with those issues added in making it all better. not many nerdy, smart, fun zombie books out there and this is one of them.
two --er-- caveats? i don't even know what to call them, because i'm not really warning you about these things, like Shaun would never try to dissuade somebody from walking into a zombie-infested zone because he wouldn't wanna deprive you of fun-- but, just keep your head about you is all i'm sayin.'
uno- not gonna lie there's also a bit of a sam&dean type of relationship going on with cynical George and jaunty, wise-cracking Shaun which left me interested, and no, not in the porny sense. i just love rly intense claustrophobic relationships that don't have a smidgeon of health to them. because screw health on the missionary, i just want intensity, intimacy, the realization that these two people work because of each other and if one of them was to die the other one would be ruined without them. grand passion, you know, and all that.
dos- one thing that didn't quite jive with me was how George would pretend to be a Newsie when she really felt like a Stewart in her blog entries. not objective and free from opinion at all-- specially as the story progressed and she became closer and closer to the Republican candidate. (yes, Republican, but don't hold that against him. the world has gone mad, zombies are walking the Earth and a Republican candidate is actually kinda cool for some of the values of...). that might have been intentional though, i'm still thinking about it.
/o\ i have been trying to steer clear off any spoilers for S7-Supernatural because i'm worried i'll get my heartbroken and suffer horribly beforehand and during and then after. better to just suffer during and after, despite all rumors to the contrary i am not a masochist. i am apprehensive though. that dread horror movie feeling you get when you know shit is about to go down like Jason on the Titanic. i'm so scared for Castiel-- not necessarily that he may die, because who are we kidding here, this is Supernatural, Jesus's resurrection is nothing next to these biatches. but i am worried that they might ruin the character beyond repair and that Cas-haters will use shoddy canon to get their Cas-hateration on. anyway, i'm already prophesying evil stories in my head, i don't need hysterical commentary and spoilers to make it worst.
\o/ read "Feed" by Mira Grant, and are now even more obsessed than i used to be about zombies. i love apocalypse movies, books, comics. when i was a kid i'd watch and rewatch "The Plague" with Raul Julia and William Hurt like other kids watched "Goonies."
"Feed" is a near-future political thriller where bloggers are respectable journalists with government licenses & pack heat, the Zombie Apocalypse has actually happened, and we survived thanks to savior of mankind: George Romero. WHAT WOULD GEORGE ROMERO DO? there are quite a few zombies still walking the Earth ready to eat us, but we've got the proper technology to survive them, and we do just like we used to survive all the other predators that tried to eat us back in the day of caves and clubs and bows and arrows. in this AU, there are different types of bloggers: Fictionals (who write fic & poetry), Stewarts (who give you news/opinions), Irwins (poking
in a way it's also an issues book (politics/corruption, the integrity of the news & journalists, fame whores, the culture of fear, terrorism, the role of Religion without discernment in promoting wtfuckery, truth and how far you'll go to preserve it, etc.). but a well written issues book. like, it transcends the issues and is all about the story with those issues added in making it all better. not many nerdy, smart, fun zombie books out there and this is one of them.
two --er-- caveats? i don't even know what to call them, because i'm not really warning you about these things, like Shaun would never try to dissuade somebody from walking into a zombie-infested zone because he wouldn't wanna deprive you of fun-- but, just keep your head about you is all i'm sayin.'
uno- not gonna lie there's also a bit of a sam&dean type of relationship going on with cynical George and jaunty, wise-cracking Shaun which left me interested, and no, not in the porny sense. i just love rly intense claustrophobic relationships that don't have a smidgeon of health to them. because screw health on the missionary, i just want intensity, intimacy, the realization that these two people work because of each other and if one of them was to die the other one would be ruined without them. grand passion, you know, and all that.
dos- one thing that didn't quite jive with me was how George would pretend to be a Newsie when she really felt like a Stewart in her blog entries. not objective and free from opinion at all-- specially as the story progressed and she became closer and closer to the Republican candidate. (yes, Republican, but don't hold that against him. the world has gone mad, zombies are walking the Earth and a Republican candidate is actually kinda cool for some of the values of...). that might have been intentional though, i'm still thinking about it.
wow, unexpected hiatus was unexpected.
i feel so freaking out of it, my darlings. this is sooooooo weird. am i really posting? i've lost practice and feel all awk and lost and yeah. xP
anyway, i'm a do bulletsies! bulletsies will SAVE ME.
* i'm actually excited for Supernatural's 7th season. omg, holy crap, expletives, expletives. which i didn't expect considering that i've been emobitching up the wazoo about character assassinations and Sera Fucking Gambles and Damn You, Baldy, you know who you are! *shakes fist of rage and helplessness* but, yes. was watching "America's Tyra why are you so fucking batshit" and i saw like half a second of SPNity amidst the Nikitas (i'm sure it's good, but i have a list as long as Jared's arm of TV Shows To Watch and it's not a top priority...i mean, i haven't even seen "The Good Wife" or "Breaking Bad") and Teenage Vampires and Gossip Things and my heart started donkodonking. no lie.
* has everyone seen the s6 gagreel by now? it's like filmed permission to RPF. bullshit, it's a filmed permission to RPS with some poly thrown on the side. if they EVER talk about how we're all a bunch of nymphofannish pervs we can just point them to exhibit a, b, c, d,... and accuse them of pandering and entrapment and i'm not real clear on the legalese, but y'all get my point.
* talking about legalese, i am in love with "Suits" and most particularly Gina Torres. her body is perfection and it's perfection not only because it's perfection, but it's perfection because she wields it like Michelangelo wielded his sculptor-thingy when he made The David. for serious, I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave. WAR SHIPS HAVE SAILED FOR LESS THAN THIS. i wish i could write sonnets about how she glides through a room. you guys should watch "Suits" 'cause then you can fangasm with me and also get all of gigantic's commentary. it's my favoritest show of the summer and this week is the last episode. boo!
* CAPTIVE PRINCE how many times have i rec'd this original fic and does anybody in my flist read it? NO. wtf, bbs. i'm going to have to go friend me somesadpatheticobssessedcool bitches likeme to talk about it.
* have read buttloads of thinky books and YA books and even a Romance book or two but no fics in forever. meh. i don't even know where to start. I AM INTIMIDATED BY MY OWN BOOKMARKS. lordy.
*
shit.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
britomart_is told me that she could turn my help_japan fic into J2 "America's Next Top Model" and i said no. -_-
i feel so freaking out of it, my darlings. this is sooooooo weird. am i really posting? i've lost practice and feel all awk and lost and yeah. xP
anyway, i'm a do bulletsies! bulletsies will SAVE ME.
* i'm actually excited for Supernatural's 7th season. omg, holy crap, expletives, expletives. which i didn't expect considering that i've been emobitching up the wazoo about character assassinations and Sera Fucking Gambles and Damn You, Baldy, you know who you are! *shakes fist of rage and helplessness* but, yes. was watching "America's Tyra why are you so fucking batshit" and i saw like half a second of SPNity amidst the Nikitas (i'm sure it's good, but i have a list as long as Jared's arm of TV Shows To Watch and it's not a top priority...i mean, i haven't even seen "The Good Wife" or "Breaking Bad") and Teenage Vampires and Gossip Things and my heart started donkodonking. no lie.
* has everyone seen the s6 gagreel by now? it's like filmed permission to RPF. bullshit, it's a filmed permission to RPS with some poly thrown on the side. if they EVER talk about how we're all a bunch of nymphofannish pervs we can just point them to exhibit a, b, c, d,... and accuse them of pandering and entrapment and i'm not real clear on the legalese, but y'all get my point.
* talking about legalese, i am in love with "Suits" and most particularly Gina Torres. her body is perfection and it's perfection not only because it's perfection, but it's perfection because she wields it like Michelangelo wielded his sculptor-thingy when he made The David. for serious, I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave. WAR SHIPS HAVE SAILED FOR LESS THAN THIS. i wish i could write sonnets about how she glides through a room. you guys should watch "Suits" 'cause then you can fangasm with me and also get all of gigantic's commentary. it's my favoritest show of the summer and this week is the last episode. boo!
* CAPTIVE PRINCE how many times have i rec'd this original fic and does anybody in my flist read it? NO. wtf, bbs. i'm going to have to go friend me some
* have read buttloads of thinky books and YA books and even a Romance book or two but no fics in forever. meh. i don't even know where to start. I AM INTIMIDATED BY MY OWN BOOKMARKS. lordy.
*
shit.
britomart_is told me that she could turn my help_japan fic into J2 "America's Next Top Model" and i said no. -_-MY PANFANDOM CORONA DREAM
Jul. 11th, 2011 05:39 pmi am desperately seeking susan looking for an artist to draw my summer header. and summer? it's almost over. okay, i'm exaggerating but not by much. what do I want?
Sin (from the very enjoyable Demon's Surrender) Baby Doll, Castiel, Erik, Harry Potter & Spock chillin' at the beach, like it's a Corona commercial, with said coronas and margaritas and whatever else being drank while tanning. is that really too much to ask? come on, you know you want to see Castiel and Spock building a sandcastle while Harry warns Erik on the dangers of becoming the Next Dark Lord while Erik flirts with him (having that thing for earnest, self-righteous boys that he does) and Sin and Baby Doll share a huge beach-towel and Sin rubs a LOT of sunscreeen on Baby's delicate skin because it could burn to a crisp and...er...my screen is getting foggy and i've lost my train of thought. what was i talking about again?
right. i need to find me an artist. =/ you know any? help me out. pls?
Sin (from the very enjoyable Demon's Surrender) Baby Doll, Castiel, Erik, Harry Potter & Spock chillin' at the beach, like it's a Corona commercial, with said coronas and margaritas and whatever else being drank while tanning. is that really too much to ask? come on, you know you want to see Castiel and Spock building a sandcastle while Harry warns Erik on the dangers of becoming the Next Dark Lord while Erik flirts with him (having that thing for earnest, self-righteous boys that he does) and Sin and Baby Doll share a huge beach-towel and Sin rubs a LOT of sunscreeen on Baby's delicate skin because it could burn to a crisp and...er...my screen is getting foggy and i've lost my train of thought. what was i talking about again?
right. i need to find me an artist. =/ you know any? help me out. pls?
* my favorite show this summer. dear lawd, i'm already trolling for fanfic, and bitches? there is fanfic already. looky here AO3 rocks my socks:
not to mention GINA TORRES I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! OMG. LOOK AT THIS FIERCE SEXY GODDESS DRINKING COFFEE UNF!
* i've changed my profile recs, just in case anybody's looking for some suits, x-men, spn, or newtrek fics.
* what am i doing right now? Coffee Prince by way ofthefourthvine i love how she manages to find "push the gender envelope" shows in K-Dramaland. o.O bizarre & awesome.
not to mention GINA TORRES I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! OMG. LOOK AT THIS FIERCE SEXY GODDESS DRINKING COFFEE UNF!
* i've changed my profile recs, just in case anybody's looking for some suits, x-men, spn, or newtrek fics.
* what am i doing right now? Coffee Prince by way of
thefourthvine i love how she manages to find "push the gender envelope" shows in K-Dramaland. o.O bizarre & awesome.
the things i'm not
Jul. 6th, 2011 10:56 pm
|
**idk if anybody's noticed but i've been on a bit of a hiatus! and not the kind of hiatus that means that Filomena is a partyin' ho with a really long dance card. oh, noes! Filomena has been studying and working and her life is a big workaholic mountain of poo. poo! FML. oh, and i'm talking about myself in the 3rd person which is totally a sign of major loserdoom and incoming depression.
***i am seriously loving USA shows, nerdy jewish doctors, suave bisexual conmen and their adorakable bisexual G-men, suits suits and more suits, notices that burn, guns and holsters, etc...well, except Covert Affairs. i know, i know. i really tried, and i wanted to love Annie, because idk if you guys know this amazing piece of information but Piper Perabo was a gorgeous lesbian in "Imagine You & Me" with the indomitable Lena Headey who is so hawtass that when people tell me Queen Cersei is a horrible bitch i say YES YES YES SHE IS DO YOU SEE THE HEARTS IN MY EYES THE PINK SPARKLY HEARTS?!?!? THEY ARE FOR HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER OMG! *runs around in circles* but yeah, Covert Affair sucks imo and if the CIA is that boring i'm going to have to stop using that as a come-hither line.
****i'm considering dipping my toes in the X-Men: First Class Fandom, but i'm sooooooooooooooo picky about exactly what i want that i think it'll just be an incoming avalanche of disappointment. after all, though the movie (i thought) did a good job of not being a Xavier or Magneto apologist, fanfic'ers already seem to be picking sides talking about "privileged" or "intolerant" or whatever. like, goddamn it, why can't you guys just leave stuff a little complex, ambiguous and not use fanfic as propaganda? when a movie about superheroes seems to be more nuanced than the meta on it-- idek, guys. this is why we can't have nice things or why i'm so freaking hesitant, either one.
*****i did somehow have time to read and not really like a few bigbang fics, but then again, i've purposely been leaving off anything that sounds truly good as a present for myself. like, umm, anythingglassyskies has ever written and will ever write, 'cause that fierce bitch can do no wrong, and britomart_is 's big bang which I'm pretending was written for me, because j'adore Jess. yep, and though i have a hard time buying threesomes (they are usually graphic and not really passionate) Jess/Dean/Sam and any variation thereof is amazingly appealing to me in the right hands (like, the non-girl-hating hands? those hands) stfu, the woman has legs up to her armpits and she was clearly kickass. (in my mind canon, Jess is Girl!Dean and don't tell me that's not trufax, 'cause i ain't gonna listen.
*******if you haven't been reading "Captive Prince" I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU. SERIOUSLY. LIKE, OCEANS OF PITY IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION. yes, this is a rec. take this shit seriously, yo. it will change your life.
********also, damn yourhythmsextion for making me like football enough that i'm watching "Necessary Roughness" right now and thinking J2! J2! J2!
***i am seriously loving USA shows, nerdy jewish doctors, suave bisexual conmen and their adorakable bisexual G-men, suits suits and more suits, notices that burn, guns and holsters, etc...well, except Covert Affairs. i know, i know. i really tried, and i wanted to love Annie, because idk if you guys know this amazing piece of information but Piper Perabo was a gorgeous lesbian in "Imagine You & Me" with the indomitable Lena Headey who is so hawtass that when people tell me Queen Cersei is a horrible bitch i say YES YES YES SHE IS DO YOU SEE THE HEARTS IN MY EYES THE PINK SPARKLY HEARTS?!?!? THEY ARE FOR HER BECAUSE I LOVE HER OMG! *runs around in circles* but yeah, Covert Affair sucks imo and if the CIA is that boring i'm going to have to stop using that as a come-hither line.
****i'm considering dipping my toes in the X-Men: First Class Fandom, but i'm sooooooooooooooo picky about exactly what i want that i think it'll just be an incoming avalanche of disappointment. after all, though the movie (i thought) did a good job of not being a Xavier or Magneto apologist, fanfic'ers already seem to be picking sides talking about "privileged" or "intolerant" or whatever. like, goddamn it, why can't you guys just leave stuff a little complex, ambiguous and not use fanfic as propaganda? when a movie about superheroes seems to be more nuanced than the meta on it-- idek, guys. this is why we can't have nice things or why i'm so freaking hesitant, either one.
*****i did somehow have time to read and not really like a few bigbang fics, but then again, i've purposely been leaving off anything that sounds truly good as a present for myself. like, umm, anything
glassyskies has ever written and will ever write, 'cause that fierce bitch can do no wrong, and britomart_is 's big bang which I'm pretending was written for me, because j'adore Jess. yep, and though i have a hard time buying threesomes (they are usually graphic and not really passionate) Jess/Dean/Sam and any variation thereof is amazingly appealing to me in the right hands (like, the non-girl-hating hands? those hands) stfu, the woman has legs up to her armpits and she was clearly kickass. (in my mind canon, Jess is Girl!Dean and don't tell me that's not trufax, 'cause i ain't gonna listen.*******if you haven't been reading "Captive Prince" I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU. SERIOUSLY. LIKE, OCEANS OF PITY IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION. yes, this is a rec. take this shit seriously, yo. it will change your life.
********also, damn you
rhythmsextion for making me like football enough that i'm watching "Necessary Roughness" right now and thinking J2! J2! J2!that awkward moment when
Jun. 8th, 2011 10:36 pm*bradley cooper. idk man. i feel like i shouldn't like him because the guy has that stupid fucking attractive dudebro face and this white boy frat guy swagger, but-- it's like i think he's secretly not so secretly a charming dork. =/ you know, like Dean? also, monsieur cooper speaks french. o.O
*sera gamble you might be as lovely as some of my flisters think you are and i'm not going to talk about your eyebrows because apparently that is hella-sexist, but to me you are the George W. Bush Jr. of show-runners. but yes, Britney Spears, she don't run the show by herself and maybe we should trust her.
* there's a petition out there where you can sign if you want Ben Edlund for showrunner. some people are incensed saying that's a step too far, that she's like a public school teacher and she has a tenure and she'd have to noncon a Jo with a Sam on a barstool (or a desk?) to get fired. if you think that, don't sign it. my way of thinking? she can be demoted. it's no biggy, right? *coughs*Misha*coughs*
*on that note, i'm seriously considering watching "Twilight" in the movie theater for the following reasons:
-rpattz made out with werewolf dude.
-bella's hairdo looks like it was inspired by Snookie. Snookie is my spirit animal. i swear.
-the werewolf dude cried and took his shirt off AT THE SAME TIME IN THE RAIN. simultaneous-like. (which i'm a little worried about because i think Sera's going to have Sam recreate that scene in a totally necessary and not at all gratuitous moment. and when i say worried i mean FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP.)
-the sex scene looks so fucking awkward and cringe-worthy, it's like the Borat of sex scenes.
-rpattz? made out with werewolf dude.
*jason isaacs, dan rad, emma and Co. describe their HP experience in one word. MY CRYES.
*jared padalecki is acting so fanfic'y in his twitter it's almost OOC.
*sera gamble you might be as lovely as some of my flisters think you are and i'm not going to talk about your eyebrows because apparently that is hella-sexist, but to me you are the George W. Bush Jr. of show-runners. but yes, Britney Spears, she don't run the show by herself and maybe we should trust her.
* there's a petition out there where you can sign if you want Ben Edlund for showrunner. some people are incensed saying that's a step too far, that she's like a public school teacher and she has a tenure and she'd have to noncon a Jo with a Sam on a barstool (or a desk?) to get fired. if you think that, don't sign it. my way of thinking? she can be demoted. it's no biggy, right? *coughs*Misha*coughs*
*on that note, i'm seriously considering watching "Twilight" in the movie theater for the following reasons:
-rpattz made out with werewolf dude.
-bella's hairdo looks like it was inspired by Snookie. Snookie is my spirit animal. i swear.
-the werewolf dude cried and took his shirt off AT THE SAME TIME IN THE RAIN. simultaneous-like. (which i'm a little worried about because i think Sera's going to have Sam recreate that scene in a totally necessary and not at all gratuitous moment. and when i say worried i mean FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP.)
-the sex scene looks so fucking awkward and cringe-worthy, it's like the Borat of sex scenes.
-rpattz? made out with werewolf dude.
*jason isaacs, dan rad, emma and Co. describe their HP experience in one word. MY CRYES.
*jared padalecki is acting so fanfic'y in his twitter it's almost OOC.
i was reading somebody's profile page (somebody in my flist) and it got me thinking about what being a fan means and what being in Fandom means to me. this is not a manifesto or an argument about how shit just got real and if you don't agree then you're wrong. this here? is just my opinion. caveat lector and all that.
i think that a fan who stops squeeing isn't really a fan, i think they would even tell you, "i used to be a fan, but--" but once a Fan becomes a part of Fandom thenthey be married the squee reel can be paused every once in a while...because the very act of looking for fanfic or fanart can mean that for that Fandom-Fan canon isn't enough. canon doesn't fulfill every need, sexual, psychological, cultural, social. and that's a type of criticism. isn't it?
the way some people are, if they are not cis, or white, or heterosexual, or male, or simply if their taste for media bifurcates from the mainstream, then the mostly cis, heterocentric, white male (a world that often even fails those people since individuals are not stereotypes) world of media is not going to work for them and they have to create a media AU within that world that does and that's Fandom. (which is why the people who just come here to read and write pr0n and could not give less of a fuck about anything else sometimes get angry when their search for pr0n is thwarted by other people's search for fan-made material that isn't blatantly ableist, racist, sexist, transphobic or homophobic.)
so to me saying "i don't allow for critique" is kind of ...naive? unaware? because if you write fanfic, or read fanfic, or fanart, you are acknowledging there's a lack in canon. which may be why fandoms are built where there's potential for more, potential for gay representation and female representation and PoC representation. we see that potential and that inspires us to seek it and create it and queer it and twist it and kink it and genderfuck it for our own little AU worlds where judgment is less valued than acceptance, tolerance. where morality is characterized by understanding and suspension of censure and stuff.
or maybe we're just here for the pr0n and i'm the naive, unaware one.
i think that a fan who stops squeeing isn't really a fan, i think they would even tell you, "i used to be a fan, but--" but once a Fan becomes a part of Fandom then
the way some people are, if they are not cis, or white, or heterosexual, or male, or simply if their taste for media bifurcates from the mainstream, then the mostly cis, heterocentric, white male (a world that often even fails those people since individuals are not stereotypes) world of media is not going to work for them and they have to create a media AU within that world that does and that's Fandom. (which is why the people who just come here to read and write pr0n and could not give less of a fuck about anything else sometimes get angry when their search for pr0n is thwarted by other people's search for fan-made material that isn't blatantly ableist, racist, sexist, transphobic or homophobic.)
so to me saying "i don't allow for critique" is kind of ...naive? unaware? because if you write fanfic, or read fanfic, or fanart, you are acknowledging there's a lack in canon. which may be why fandoms are built where there's potential for more, potential for gay representation and female representation and PoC representation. we see that potential and that inspires us to seek it and create it and queer it and twist it and kink it and genderfuck it for our own little AU worlds where judgment is less valued than acceptance, tolerance. where morality is characterized by understanding and suspension of censure and stuff.
or maybe we're just here for the pr0n and i'm the naive, unaware one.
-rape psa:
-i'm kind of in fannish love with Sandy and i've only seen her act as the crossroads demon. it's weird what being in fandom does to you, where you end up liking/giving a shit about people whose work you barely know. i used to have these impossibly high standards about liking famous people, because i hated this society's fascination with all things famous, and now look at me. liking a girl because i've seen a few youtube clips and i've read fanfic about her. also, her face and her body make every argument completely invalid, but yes-- my sense of discernment has gone by the wayside.
-Cas & Dean
"HELLO, HUMANS. LOOK AT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. NOW BACK TO ME. NOW BACK TO HIM. NOW BACK TO ME.
"SADLY, HE IS NOT ME. BUT IF HE SWALLOWED BROKEN GLASS AND CHASED IT WITH WHISKEY, HE COULD SOUND LIKE HE'S ME.
"LOOK DOWN, BACK UP, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'RE IN A DEN OF INIQUITY WITH THE ANGEL YOUR MAN COULD SOUND LIKE.
"WHAT'S IN YOUR HAND? BACK TO ME. I HAVE IT: IT'S A WINCHESTER. LOOK AGAIN: THE WINCHESTER IS NOW NAKED. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOUR MAN SOUNDS LIKE CASTIEL AND NOT A LADY.
"I'M A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER."
:D:D:D:D:D fandom even makes that horrible finale palatable. i think the trick is to treat heart-break with crack. imagine Godstiel as a grandstanding megalomaniacal kinkbastard and for a sec you can almost forget that Castiel, devoted guardian angel in the worship and service of Dean Winchester, no longer exists. omg, i make myself cry again. poo.
- anybody else going to watch Cry Wolf and chat tomorrow? no? just me? meh.
* the little train is Castiel
-i'm kind of in fannish love with Sandy and i've only seen her act as the crossroads demon. it's weird what being in fandom does to you, where you end up liking/giving a shit about people whose work you barely know. i used to have these impossibly high standards about liking famous people, because i hated this society's fascination with all things famous, and now look at me. liking a girl because i've seen a few youtube clips and i've read fanfic about her. also, her face and her body make every argument completely invalid, but yes-- my sense of discernment has gone by the wayside.
-Cas & Dean
"HELLO, HUMANS. LOOK AT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. NOW BACK TO ME. NOW BACK TO HIM. NOW BACK TO ME.
"SADLY, HE IS NOT ME. BUT IF HE SWALLOWED BROKEN GLASS AND CHASED IT WITH WHISKEY, HE COULD SOUND LIKE HE'S ME.
"LOOK DOWN, BACK UP, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'RE IN A DEN OF INIQUITY WITH THE ANGEL YOUR MAN COULD SOUND LIKE.
"WHAT'S IN YOUR HAND? BACK TO ME. I HAVE IT: IT'S A WINCHESTER. LOOK AGAIN: THE WINCHESTER IS NOW NAKED. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOUR MAN SOUNDS LIKE CASTIEL AND NOT A LADY.
"I'M A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER."
:D:D:D:D:D fandom even makes that horrible finale palatable. i think the trick is to treat heart-break with crack. imagine Godstiel as a grandstanding megalomaniacal kinkbastard and for a sec you can almost forget that Castiel, devoted guardian angel in the worship and service of Dean Winchester, no longer exists. omg, i make myself cry again. poo.
- anybody else going to watch Cry Wolf and chat tomorrow? no? just me? meh.
* the little train is Castiel
stop Joss Whedoning my life !!
May. 31st, 2011 04:38 pm♥ Abed is my boifrend, and i'll fight you for him. y'all can take Jeff. \o/
♥ tumblr. i'm still not convinced. idk, bbs, idk. lj has given me rants and fanart and fanfic and hearts that beat all craycray like mine. tumblr has given me nothing, yet. i mean, other than letterstoCas which makes me feel sad/cathartic? but nothing that has made me squee and say, wow, this tumblr thing makes me want to bow down and worship it or be destroyed. meh
♥ can anybody rec me some AU Misha/Jensen High School fics? yes, i'm a dork, the thought of twinky Jensen and awkward hippy Misha sends me into my Aw-place and makes me happy. :D:D:D:D:D
♥ Home Again read it. you'll cry, but it will be a good cry. i promise you.
♥ i don't really love Lisa, but people who hate Lisa make me wanna love her, just to counteract the fact that TV likes to create 2-dimensional female characters that make girls feel like they can't identify with female characters. bbs, realize it's not the vagina that iscockfan-blocking you, but the fact that you can't identify with poorly constructed characters who are not only half-cooked but who make you feel like being a girly-girl is trivial, that being an assertive girl is bitchy, that being a tom-boy means you'll die alone, that your lack of penis makes you inadequate. so you think that Lisa was a slut, who put her boy in danger to smoosh on Dean, think about the fact that she was written that way --at least superficially-- so that Dean could play house.
( cut for hot mess of the fanfic rantish kind, look away, bbs, look away )
♥ tumblr. i'm still not convinced. idk, bbs, idk. lj has given me rants and fanart and fanfic and hearts that beat all craycray like mine. tumblr has given me nothing, yet. i mean, other than letterstoCas which makes me feel sad/cathartic? but nothing that has made me squee and say, wow, this tumblr thing makes me want to bow down and worship it or be destroyed. meh
♥ can anybody rec me some AU Misha/Jensen High School fics? yes, i'm a dork, the thought of twinky Jensen and awkward hippy Misha sends me into my Aw-place and makes me happy. :D:D:D:D:D
♥ Home Again read it. you'll cry, but it will be a good cry. i promise you.
♥ i don't really love Lisa, but people who hate Lisa make me wanna love her, just to counteract the fact that TV likes to create 2-dimensional female characters that make girls feel like they can't identify with female characters. bbs, realize it's not the vagina that is
( cut for hot mess of the fanfic rantish kind, look away, bbs, look away )
in fiction, as in reality, what counts many times is not whether the two characters/people actually consummate their relationship either by words (you know, asexual romantic people) or by actions (sexy tiems!) but whether there is the great and on the edge potential for a romantic relationship.
if we claim we are all about “show, don’t tell” then Cas/Dean are certainly about that. i’m not saying that this is the only possible interpretation to the canon— I would never say that. yet, i resent the accusation that if i do see their relationship as romantic i am using my slash goggles. no, i am not. i am perfectly happy with seeing two men love each other without adding any sort of sexual element to the equation and some of the Dean/Cas stories i most adore are no more graphic than canon is (little touches & intense and/or loving looks). i do think there’s a romantic element to how Castiel thinks of Dean, even if sometimes i consider it one of the most gorgeous, tragic, unrequited love stories of all time. (not because Dean doesn’t return the love, but because he doesn’t recognize it for what it is.)
maybe it’s because i love epistolary love-stories (sometimes the characters have never seen each other when they’re already embroiled in a passionate love-affair; Griffin & Sabine, anyone?) and i ship Abelard and Heloise (Abelard was castrated, yikes! no sexing for them— also Francis/Claire? no sexing, loads of romance, though). for me, the sexual element is secondary to the great meeting of two souls that could be embodying any bodies at all. besides, in fiction, if it’s not ALL about the titillation and the hawtness and it’s a little bit about something else, then the sex is also a metaphor for “the profound bond.” just like “the profound bond” can then be a metaphor for sex.
***
reblogged as a reply to another meta post (by homoerotics) from my tumblr found here. (trust-you-less)
;D i can't promise i'll ever post anything of any sort of substance or whatevfuck, but if you have a tumbler i'd like to follow you. so, umm, tell me where it is, bbs? <3 ty!
if we claim we are all about “show, don’t tell” then Cas/Dean are certainly about that. i’m not saying that this is the only possible interpretation to the canon— I would never say that. yet, i resent the accusation that if i do see their relationship as romantic i am using my slash goggles. no, i am not. i am perfectly happy with seeing two men love each other without adding any sort of sexual element to the equation and some of the Dean/Cas stories i most adore are no more graphic than canon is (little touches & intense and/or loving looks). i do think there’s a romantic element to how Castiel thinks of Dean, even if sometimes i consider it one of the most gorgeous, tragic, unrequited love stories of all time. (not because Dean doesn’t return the love, but because he doesn’t recognize it for what it is.)
maybe it’s because i love epistolary love-stories (sometimes the characters have never seen each other when they’re already embroiled in a passionate love-affair; Griffin & Sabine, anyone?) and i ship Abelard and Heloise (Abelard was castrated, yikes! no sexing for them— also Francis/Claire? no sexing, loads of romance, though). for me, the sexual element is secondary to the great meeting of two souls that could be embodying any bodies at all. besides, in fiction, if it’s not ALL about the titillation and the hawtness and it’s a little bit about something else, then the sex is also a metaphor for “the profound bond.” just like “the profound bond” can then be a metaphor for sex.
***
reblogged as a reply to another meta post (by homoerotics) from my tumblr found here. (trust-you-less)
;D i can't promise i'll ever post anything of any sort of substance or whatevfuck, but if you have a tumbler i'd like to follow you. so, umm, tell me where it is, bbs? <3 ty!
/o\ i wish that different people would audio the same fic. i get seriously turned off by certain voices. was listening to an audiofic for ~poisontaster and had to delete it, and it really sounded like the kind of fic i like-- but i just couldn't get into the voice/voice acting. am i the only nut who can't hear an audiofic if the voice doesn't personally jive? surely not. maybe this the sort of issue only really rude people mention and i'm being really rude without realizing. oh well. i wish audiofic'ers were less territorial/possessive about the fics they narrated, and there could be multiple recordings of fics. surely readers understand that they are not going to appeal to everyone.
/o\ was reading a fic and it started out marvelously. blind!psychic!Sam and Dean who doesn't know him, but needs him to find his father. loved the idea that there is more than one predetermined future ahead of us and that those who can see ahead (in fiction, because i don't believe in Ms Cleo-- YMMV) see more than one possible outcome. then at about chapter 4, gratuitous sexin' with no ratcheting up of tension, no building on connection, just abrupt let's get it on. had to quit reading after that because i was no longer interested. so annoying whenever authors plop down a sex scene (like shit from the sky, a smelly gift from the birds as it were) abruptly like that it feels like telling-intimacy instead of showing-intimacy.
\o/ read "The Wet Nurse's Tale" and thought the story was enjoyable. i seem to like loose women more than i do self-righteous prudes, even if one can claim moral superiority over the other one or whatever. probably my tendency to side with the sinner and side-eye the judge. which totally leads to why
\o/ people need to get off Cas's balls. seriously. Keep Calm and Get off his balls. (unless your name is Dean and you're trying to balance yourself on them. if that's true, then save a halo, ride an angel. you go, boy.)
\o/ i've come to the conclusion that it's not that i love Cas girls (after all, i am a Sam girl who mostly reads S/D) but that tend to hang with fangirls who
- have some sense of perspective
- don't hate all the female characters on the show
- don't confuse "Lisa is 2-dimensional" with "Lisa is a hor, i hope she dies" (creepy hypocrites)
- don't make every argument from the pov of character bashing/character stanning
- know how to share screen time
- appreciate the immortal trolly genius of Ben Edlund
- understand the difference between loving a character and excusing/justifying every action a character makes at the expense of every other character
- don't think of Cas as a BOYFREND stealer, interloper, usurper
i think it's because i had spent hours (marathoned the seasons like they were coke and i was Tony Montana) not years with the Winchesters before boy-angel came along. for me it was a welcome addition, for others it might have broken the tension of WE LIVE ONLY FOR EACH OTHER, WITH EACH OTHER, BY EACH OTHER. the claustrophobia of that relationship might have been something the Wincesters cherished. for me it was like, beautiful, blue-eyed, odd, socially awkward, Aspergers angel with wings? sign me right up. *shrugs*
/o\ was reading a fic and it started out marvelously. blind!psychic!Sam and Dean who doesn't know him, but needs him to find his father. loved the idea that there is more than one predetermined future ahead of us and that those who can see ahead (in fiction, because i don't believe in Ms Cleo-- YMMV) see more than one possible outcome. then at about chapter 4, gratuitous sexin' with no ratcheting up of tension, no building on connection, just abrupt let's get it on. had to quit reading after that because i was no longer interested. so annoying whenever authors plop down a sex scene (like shit from the sky, a smelly gift from the birds as it were) abruptly like that it feels like telling-intimacy instead of showing-intimacy.
\o/ read "The Wet Nurse's Tale" and thought the story was enjoyable. i seem to like loose women more than i do self-righteous prudes, even if one can claim moral superiority over the other one or whatever. probably my tendency to side with the sinner and side-eye the judge. which totally leads to why
\o/ people need to get off Cas's balls. seriously. Keep Calm and Get off his balls. (unless your name is Dean and you're trying to balance yourself on them. if that's true, then save a halo, ride an angel. you go, boy.)
\o/ i've come to the conclusion that it's not that i love Cas girls (after all, i am a Sam girl who mostly reads S/D) but that tend to hang with fangirls who
- have some sense of perspective
- don't hate all the female characters on the show
- don't confuse "Lisa is 2-dimensional" with "Lisa is a hor, i hope she dies" (creepy hypocrites)
- don't make every argument from the pov of character bashing/character stanning
- know how to share screen time
- appreciate the immortal trolly genius of Ben Edlund
- understand the difference between loving a character and excusing/justifying every action a character makes at the expense of every other character
- don't think of Cas as a BOYFREND stealer, interloper, usurper
i think it's because i had spent hours (marathoned the seasons like they were coke and i was Tony Montana) not years with the Winchesters before boy-angel came along. for me it was a welcome addition, for others it might have broken the tension of WE LIVE ONLY FOR EACH OTHER, WITH EACH OTHER, BY EACH OTHER. the claustrophobia of that relationship might have been something the Wincesters cherished. for me it was like, beautiful, blue-eyed, odd, socially awkward, Aspergers angel with wings? sign me right up. *shrugs*
DO NOT WANT & DO WANT
Apr. 24th, 2011 01:07 pmBOO for
*the argument i've seen going around of, "OMG CAS CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT DEAN DOESN'T CALL YOU EXCEPT WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR HIS/HIS FAMILY'S WELL-BEING BECAUSE HE'S CONSIDERATE AND DOESN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU WHILE YOU DO YR THING IN HEAVEN." because that's a load of bs. i mean, really? when one of yr friends is involved in a Perfect Storm of Poo you call them up, offer to help, even if there's nothing you can do. /rachel
* i was reading this J2 fic which seemed to look promising (wtf do i know) and i was a little iffy from the first (the style of writing was a bit o.O for me) but i'd read a Jared/Jensen fic in the past where Jensen was this homeless guy and Jared took him (that's believable as all hell to me) so i wanted to find a fic where Jared was the homeless guy and Jensen took him in (less believable/more of a stretch imo) but i couldn't stand the fic. i had to get the hell out of Dodge --almost broke my mouse backclicking-- because it was one of those OH WHAT HAVE I DONE! fics and apparently i have acquired some kind of allergy to the WHAT HAVE I DONE trope where one of the characters makes a mistake and spends the whole fic trying to make up for his oh so horrible mistake while the other character acts like a complete woobie. makes me want to slap people across the face with magic bricks. for real. like, i never realized how much i hated those kinds of fics and how manipulative they felt to me. ewwww. i'd rather read a chan scat watersport noncon mpreg fic. no, i wouldn't, but almost.
*CAPTIVE PRINCE UPDATE WTF ARE YOU? *MY CRYES*
YAY! FOR
*Baby West being so chuckblessed adorable. OMG. already a scenestealer, i swear. ♥
* SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER \O/ BE OVER, BE CHUCKDAMNED OVER.
*SPN CHAT. i had an awesome time last friday. those girls are cray-cray.
* Jensen living it up in a Ren-F and looking scrufftastically gorgeous. that kind of thing reminds me that actors are actually artists and that it's not just about the business.
* Jane Eyre being as awesome as i remember and more than i remembered.
* THE GREEN LANTERN stfu. i know. i know, frat boy doing his frat boy thing, idgaf. I LOVE THAT OATH, THOUGH. I LOVE IT. plus, Blake is really, really hawt in that coltish way that makes me want to see her walk and stumble and dress up her boyish body so that it looks kind of androgynous. *shrugs*
*the argument i've seen going around of, "OMG CAS CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT DEAN DOESN'T CALL YOU EXCEPT WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR HIS/HIS FAMILY'S WELL-BEING BECAUSE HE'S CONSIDERATE AND DOESN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU WHILE YOU DO YR THING IN HEAVEN." because that's a load of bs. i mean, really? when one of yr friends is involved in a Perfect Storm of Poo you call them up, offer to help, even if there's nothing you can do. /rachel
* i was reading this J2 fic which seemed to look promising (wtf do i know) and i was a little iffy from the first (the style of writing was a bit o.O for me) but i'd read a Jared/Jensen fic in the past where Jensen was this homeless guy and Jared took him (that's believable as all hell to me) so i wanted to find a fic where Jared was the homeless guy and Jensen took him in (less believable/more of a stretch imo) but i couldn't stand the fic. i had to get the hell out of Dodge --almost broke my mouse backclicking-- because it was one of those OH WHAT HAVE I DONE! fics and apparently i have acquired some kind of allergy to the WHAT HAVE I DONE trope where one of the characters makes a mistake and spends the whole fic trying to make up for his oh so horrible mistake while the other character acts like a complete woobie. makes me want to slap people across the face with magic bricks. for real. like, i never realized how much i hated those kinds of fics and how manipulative they felt to me. ewwww. i'd rather read a chan scat watersport noncon mpreg fic. no, i wouldn't, but almost.
*CAPTIVE PRINCE UPDATE WTF ARE YOU? *MY CRYES*
YAY! FOR
*Baby West being so chuckblessed adorable. OMG. already a scenestealer, i swear. ♥
* SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER \O/ BE OVER, BE CHUCKDAMNED OVER.
*SPN CHAT. i had an awesome time last friday. those girls are cray-cray.
* Jensen living it up in a Ren-F and looking scrufftastically gorgeous. that kind of thing reminds me that actors are actually artists and that it's not just about the business.
* Jane Eyre being as awesome as i remember and more than i remembered.
* THE GREEN LANTERN stfu. i know. i know, frat boy doing his frat boy thing, idgaf. I LOVE THAT OATH, THOUGH. I LOVE IT. plus, Blake is really, really hawt in that coltish way that makes me want to see her walk and stumble and dress up her boyish body so that it looks kind of androgynous. *shrugs*
\o/ saw "My Heart Will Go On" this morning because i had visitors yesterday, which sucked beyond belief. i was so looking forward to my very first SPN chat (usually i hang out at ONTD and abuse the hell of of gypsy's and squishy's gifs). alas it was not to be, and i had to watch it solo in the cold realistic light of a Saturday morning. :D the experience was a lot less fabulous than it would have accompanied by crazy squeeing bitches, but i still enjoyed the hell out Balzathar and --was it just me?-- or was Misha looking beautiful? pathos, suffering, lack of sleep look GORGEOUS on him. it is of my opinion, that Balthy ships Dean/Cas and tries to convince Cas to let him join in except that Cas has never gotten the courage to reveal his love and hadn't even thought of it/examined it until Balthy mentions it in passing, like it's a fact and congratulates him on his good taste because Dean "sure is pretty and if it was me I'd go back in time multiple times to hit for the first time all over again."
/o\ CAS COULD VERY WELL BREAK THE PLACE WHERE MY HEART IS SUPPOSED TO BE. i'm so scared of betrayals and lies and the irreparable break of their relationship, but at the same time? i watched this show for the monsters and the myth arcs and the conflicts, not for the rainbows, the unicorns and the puppies and one of three ain't bad. i think Cas will do something very bad, very disappointing, but Dean will forgive because Dean is a grown-up. grown-ups know that other grown-up Angels fucking up? that's to be expected. in fact, Cas fucking up means he's advanced in his relationship with Dean, because Dean getting fucked over and Dean getting over it is a part and parcel of being in a close relationship in Dean-land. look at his Dad, his brother, even his Mother to a certain extent (sacrificing his children for her hubby)...pls let it be so. *wrings hands*
\o/ i was all thinky-thinky about Jensen's comment on how fan01 could now influence the outcome and the direction of the story, which makes me think of how it was in the time of the Comedias where the actors/writers would adapt and change the script based on audience reaction, what joke flopped, what line tugged at their heart-strings... in other words, it's more like fanfics/WIP's, where there's an immediacy to the interpretation/feedback that isn't there with other types of creative endeavors. i think it's less about recognition than about conversation, which is like, idk? a totally more democratic way of expression.
/o\ CAS COULD VERY WELL BREAK THE PLACE WHERE MY HEART IS SUPPOSED TO BE. i'm so scared of betrayals and lies and the irreparable break of their relationship, but at the same time? i watched this show for the monsters and the myth arcs and the conflicts, not for the rainbows, the unicorns and the puppies and one of three ain't bad. i think Cas will do something very bad, very disappointing, but Dean will forgive because Dean is a grown-up. grown-ups know that other grown-up Angels fucking up? that's to be expected. in fact, Cas fucking up means he's advanced in his relationship with Dean, because Dean getting fucked over and Dean getting over it is a part and parcel of being in a close relationship in Dean-land. look at his Dad, his brother, even his Mother to a certain extent (sacrificing his children for her hubby)...pls let it be so. *wrings hands*
\o/ i was all thinky-thinky about Jensen's comment on how fan01 could now influence the outcome and the direction of the story, which makes me think of how it was in the time of the Comedias where the actors/writers would adapt and change the script based on audience reaction, what joke flopped, what line tugged at their heart-strings... in other words, it's more like fanfics/WIP's, where there's an immediacy to the interpretation/feedback that isn't there with other types of creative endeavors. i think it's less about recognition than about conversation, which is like, idk? a totally more democratic way of expression.
through the miracle of art
Apr. 13th, 2011 03:29 pm*looking at all the con vids (seriously? the people who vid, the people who photograph and twitter and transcribe, the people who compile all this epic together? you are so fucking awesome. dear god. i have no words. seriously.) and though J2 have chemistry up the wazoo, Misha and Jensen have kind of a --idk how to describe it. like, Jensen always seems to act all steady, logical, timid and commonsensical next to Jared's crazy, goofy crackiness, but with Misha it's almost like they have this friendly competitiveness of who is going to be more cray-cray and more up for anything? it's really genius to see Jensen loosen up like that and Misha preform for him like some weird form of courtship behavior. no, i don't actually believe anybody's sleeping together ('cept possibly Sebastian with ERRYONE) but yeah. if this wasn't real life, Misha would be displaying. ;D
*i need to watch Hawaii like yesterday. errybody's raving about how everything is gay and nothing hurts unless you want it to and i'm HELLA INTRIGUED.
*read "Push" which was awesome. i'd read some of Sapphire's work before, so i was totally prepared for the high kick to the solar plexus which is how most of her writing feels like. i did think it was gonna take me a bit of time to accommodate to the jargon/slang/Precious' particular way of spewing, but no. the writing was relentless enough that i felt carried along. haven't seen the movie yet and don't find myself particularly inclined to, which i guess is weird, but-- well, it's like when you watch something you love, but don't have any desire to find any fanfic.
*tis the month no? (the one i read was about "wilding" or something like that, basically about men looking for young women to gangrape in the park. this one is less gut-wrenching.)
Breaking Karma #5
by Sapphire
I
It is like a scene in a play.
His bald spot shines upward between dark tufts of hair.
We are sitting in a pool of light on the plastic
covered couch, Ernestine, his last live-in,
ended up with. But that is the end.
We are sitting in the beginning of our lives now
looking at our father upright in his black
reclining chair. It's four of us then, children,
new to Los Angeles--drugs, sex, Watts burning,
Aretha, Michael Jackson, the murder of King,
haven't happened yet.
He is explaining how things will be--
Which one will cook, which one will clean.
"Your mama," he announces, "is not coming."
Two thousand miles away in the yellow
linoleum light of her kitchen, my mother
is sitting in the easy tan-colored man's lap.
Kissing him. Her perfect legs golden like
whiskey, his white shirt rolled up arms
that surround her like the smell of cake baking.
"Forget about her," my father's voice drops like
a curtain, "she doesn't want you. She never did."
II
Holding the photograph by its serrated edges, staring,
I know the dark grey of her lips is "Jubilee Red"
her face brown silk. I start with the slick
corner of the photograph, put it in my mouth like it's
pizza or something. I close my eyes, chew, swallow.
*i need to watch Hawaii like yesterday. errybody's raving about how everything is gay and nothing hurts unless you want it to and i'm HELLA INTRIGUED.
*read "Push" which was awesome. i'd read some of Sapphire's work before, so i was totally prepared for the high kick to the solar plexus which is how most of her writing feels like. i did think it was gonna take me a bit of time to accommodate to the jargon/slang/Precious' particular way of spewing, but no. the writing was relentless enough that i felt carried along. haven't seen the movie yet and don't find myself particularly inclined to, which i guess is weird, but-- well, it's like when you watch something you love, but don't have any desire to find any fanfic.
*tis the month no? (the one i read was about "wilding" or something like that, basically about men looking for young women to gangrape in the park. this one is less gut-wrenching.)
Breaking Karma #5
by Sapphire
I
It is like a scene in a play.
His bald spot shines upward between dark tufts of hair.
We are sitting in a pool of light on the plastic
covered couch, Ernestine, his last live-in,
ended up with. But that is the end.
We are sitting in the beginning of our lives now
looking at our father upright in his black
reclining chair. It's four of us then, children,
new to Los Angeles--drugs, sex, Watts burning,
Aretha, Michael Jackson, the murder of King,
haven't happened yet.
He is explaining how things will be--
Which one will cook, which one will clean.
"Your mama," he announces, "is not coming."
Two thousand miles away in the yellow
linoleum light of her kitchen, my mother
is sitting in the easy tan-colored man's lap.
Kissing him. Her perfect legs golden like
whiskey, his white shirt rolled up arms
that surround her like the smell of cake baking.
"Forget about her," my father's voice drops like
a curtain, "she doesn't want you. She never did."
II
Holding the photograph by its serrated edges, staring,
I know the dark grey of her lips is "Jubilee Red"
her face brown silk. I start with the slick
corner of the photograph, put it in my mouth like it's
pizza or something. I close my eyes, chew, swallow.
*those photographs of 6x18 are making me grin for days. ( spoilerspoiler )
*i was re-reading "Gone with the Wind" --which I hadn't read since idk? childhood? i've always been kind of curious about the South, so from an pretty early age i started reading books set in Dixie like they were set in a foreign country. reading GwtW is more like reading fantasy, no-- more like reading about a Dystopic world where a society fueled by slavery is considered glamorous and precious. that's the only way I could read about a Rhett Butler who killed an "uppity" n-word for insulting a white woman and not vomit up rage, because i remembered exactly how i read WATCHMEN and just When in Rome'd it. i guess that's how most people read GwtW these days. i hope it's not for the romance, though i've got to admit that Scarlett/Butler are the most dysfunctional couple in Christendom and assholes can be strangely attractive in fiction. they're like Liz and Darcy without any of the redeeming qualities that make all the fangirls want to be Darcy and want to marry Lizzie. ;D the novel was so freaking readable i pretty much breezed through the gazillion pages. now I want to read "Kindred" by Octavia E. <3
*furiosity is looking for great female characters of the last 20 years, here. some of mine? Elena, Carne Tremula; Agrado, Todo Sobre Mi Madre; Ofelia, Pan's Labyrinth; Shoshanna, Inglorious Basterds; Mathilda, The Professional; Phedre, Kushiel's Dart; Patty Hewes, Damages; Nicolette Grant, Big Love. there are a lot more inspiring ladies, but i thought these were mainstream/obscure enough (maybe not) not to overlap and be rec'd over and over.
TWO DECADES OF LADIES <--TUMBLR**
in f.'s words: I define a "great" female character as anyone who has inspired me, whose actions or words moved me in a way that lasted, or who is memorable to me in an empowering way -- your definition doesn't have to be the same, and we don't have to agree on what's inspiring, lasting, or empowering.
*i was re-reading "Gone with the Wind" --which I hadn't read since idk? childhood? i've always been kind of curious about the South, so from an pretty early age i started reading books set in Dixie like they were set in a foreign country. reading GwtW is more like reading fantasy, no-- more like reading about a Dystopic world where a society fueled by slavery is considered glamorous and precious. that's the only way I could read about a Rhett Butler who killed an "uppity" n-word for insulting a white woman and not vomit up rage, because i remembered exactly how i read WATCHMEN and just When in Rome'd it. i guess that's how most people read GwtW these days. i hope it's not for the romance, though i've got to admit that Scarlett/Butler are the most dysfunctional couple in Christendom and assholes can be strangely attractive in fiction. they're like Liz and Darcy without any of the redeeming qualities that make all the fangirls want to be Darcy and want to marry Lizzie. ;D the novel was so freaking readable i pretty much breezed through the gazillion pages. now I want to read "Kindred" by Octavia E. <3
*
furiosity is looking for great female characters of the last 20 years, here. some of mine? Elena, Carne Tremula; Agrado, Todo Sobre Mi Madre; Ofelia, Pan's Labyrinth; Shoshanna, Inglorious Basterds; Mathilda, The Professional; Phedre, Kushiel's Dart; Patty Hewes, Damages; Nicolette Grant, Big Love. there are a lot more inspiring ladies, but i thought these were mainstream/obscure enough (maybe not) not to overlap and be rec'd over and over. TWO DECADES OF LADIES <--TUMBLR**
in f.'s words: I define a "great" female character as anyone who has inspired me, whose actions or words moved me in a way that lasted, or who is memorable to me in an empowering way -- your definition doesn't have to be the same, and we don't have to agree on what's inspiring, lasting, or empowering.
So, congratulations, New Kid.
Mar. 19th, 2011 01:54 pm
|
♥ omg. i haven't posted in this journal in forever. i suck. i have been sporadically commenting on my flist and i posted poll/meta in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
captive_princes and i just rec's approximately a dozen fics in spnroundtable as February guest rec'er. yeah, still suck but whatever.
( spoilsquee )
♥ BEST SAM/OFC HET FIC IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE seriously. it has ruined me for all other het fics and i will never be the same. -_-
captive_princes and i just rec's approximately a dozen fics in spnroundtable as February guest rec'er. yeah, still suck but whatever.( spoilsquee )
♥ BEST SAM/OFC HET FIC IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE seriously. it has ruined me for all other het fics and i will never be the same. -_-
