swan_bite

* I LOVE MY NEW LAYOUT! omg. well, my last layout by faithwood was gorgeous, and i feel confident i would have never changed it if LJ hadn't played with my emotions, by taking away my ability to see who posted/icons on my friend's list, but this one is pretty too. :D

* i made another journal over @ dreamwidth. friend me if you like.

* i've been belatedly sending cards --i got sick AGAIN (this year i've gotten sick like 4 times) to the people who asked me for them (i sent everyone who wanted ONLY cards, books too 'cause--). some of you will get them in January because i'll be traveling -- but you can all pretend you celebrate the Twelve days of Christmas and that it's for Epiphany. xP or that it's a Christmasy Valentine's card, whatever. lol


* so there was that anonymous love meme running around, and i left it till too late and now, guess what? everybody gave their love and i didn't give mine and that's not fair. so here it is! my gratitude and love, show-offy and for everyone to see. <33333333333





( Some nonanonymous Love )

i was reading somebody's profile page (somebody in my flist) and it got me thinking about what being a fan means and what being in Fandom means to me. this is not a manifesto or an argument about how shit just got real and if you don't agree then you're wrong. this here? is just my opinion. caveat lector and all that.

i think that a fan who stops squeeing isn't really a fan, i think they would even tell you, "i used to be a fan, but--" but once a Fan becomes a part of Fandom then they be married the squee reel can be paused every once in a while...because the very act of looking for fanfic or fanart can mean that for that Fandom-Fan canon isn't enough. canon doesn't fulfill every need, sexual, psychological, cultural, social. and that's a type of criticism. isn't it?

the way some people are, if they are not cis, or white, or heterosexual, or male, or simply if their taste for media bifurcates from the mainstream, then the mostly cis, heterocentric, white male (a world that often even fails those people since individuals are not stereotypes) world of media is not going to work for them and they have to create a media AU within that world that does and that's Fandom. (which is why the people who just come here to read and write pr0n and could not give less of a fuck about anything else sometimes get angry when their search for pr0n is thwarted by other people's search for fan-made material that isn't blatantly ableist, racist, sexist, transphobic or homophobic.)

so to me saying "i don't allow for critique" is kind of ...naive? unaware? because if you write fanfic, or read fanfic, or fanart, you are acknowledging there's a lack in canon. which may be why fandoms are built where there's potential for more, potential for gay representation and female representation and PoC representation. we see that potential and that inspires us to seek it and create it and queer it and twist it and kink it and genderfuck it for our own little AU worlds where judgment is less valued than acceptance, tolerance. where morality is characterized by understanding and suspension of censure and stuff.

or maybe we're just here for the pr0n and i'm the naive, unaware one.

in fiction, as in reality, what counts many times is not whether the two characters/people actually consummate their relationship either by words (you know, asexual romantic people) or by actions (sexy tiems!) but whether there is the great and on the edge potential for a romantic relationship.

if we claim we are all about “show, don’t tell” then Cas/Dean are certainly about that. i’m not saying that this is the only possible interpretation to the canon— I would never say that. yet, i resent the accusation that if i do see their relationship as romantic i am using my slash goggles. no, i am not. i am perfectly happy with seeing two men love each other without adding any sort of sexual element to the equation and some of the Dean/Cas stories i most adore are no more graphic than canon is (little touches & intense and/or loving looks). i do think there’s a romantic element to how Castiel thinks of Dean, even if sometimes i consider it one of the most gorgeous, tragic, unrequited love stories of all time. (not because Dean doesn’t return the love, but because he doesn’t recognize it for what it is.)

maybe it’s because i love epistolary love-stories (sometimes the characters have never seen each other when they’re already embroiled in a passionate love-affair; Griffin & Sabine, anyone?) and i ship Abelard and Heloise (Abelard was castrated, yikes! no sexing for them— also Francis/Claire? no sexing, loads of romance, though). for me, the sexual element is secondary to the great meeting of two souls that could be embodying any bodies at all. besides, in fiction, if it’s not ALL about the titillation and the hawtness and it’s a little bit about something else, then the sex is also a metaphor for “the profound bond.” just like “the profound bond” can then be a metaphor for sex.

***

reblogged as a reply to another meta post (by homoerotics) from my tumblr found here. (trust-you-less)

;D i can't promise i'll ever post anything of any sort of substance or whatevfuck, but if you have a tumbler i'd like to follow you. so, umm, tell me where it is, bbs? <3 ty!