i reach out from the inside

[swan_bite]

* RIP you gorgeous dog. i'm trying not to think about this too much, i can't really process animals dying.

* what i look for in fanfic in general terms. these are generalizations, because --as we all know-- a good writers can seduce us into making plenty of exceptions despite or worst or better judgment.

* in poetic terms what i look for in fanfic:
Sonnet XVII by Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.



emotional exhibitionism, the need to Hollywood it up and seek public validation, or validation from certain people, the belief that your love ain't enough until you go to a dinner and have people clap as you tilt and kiss? squicks me quite as much as the squickiest thing you can think of. like a chan scat watersports noncon OOC fic. because it's reality tv masquerading as fanfic. my favorite fanfic authors do not take their inspirations from the Jersey shore or the Kardashians.

* i thought fleshflutter was coming back. it's taking longer than i expected and i'm not enjoying the wait. i also miss squishyball. *HOLDS UP A BOOMBOX* *IN YOUR EYES THE LIGHT THE HEAT IN YOUR EYES I AM COMPLETE*

* i totally missed the trenchcoat! how could i miss it? well, i had less than an optimal experience watching the show yesterday. i rudely invited myself to an SPN chatroom with angel_kink while she was less than inclined to discuss a show she's currently boycotting with me, for obvious fucking reasons, and proceeded to ignore me while talking about Carnivale, which she warned me was "slow but brilliant." i then left having realized the error of my ways, and it kind of shaped my opinion of the episode, which has been somewhat redeemed in my eyes with that day-after perspective one gets after the pounding headache of the hangover has abated. the pretty wincesty gifs in tumblr didn't hurt. who knew that tumblr was going to turn into my source of canon-squee. it's still no more than passable, but it's not poo (as i told drunkcascookies yesterday).

Comments

[angel-kink.livejournal.com]

lol sorry about the chatroom awkwardness. I'm not necisarily boycotting it, I'm just not very interested in it. Boycotting implies I'm trying to have an impact with my lack of viewership, but since I'm not a Nielson family and I'm not changing my purchasing habits, that's not the case. But yeah... I'm not watching.

But yeah, Carnivale is AMAZING. I definitely recommend it. :)

[glassyskies.livejournal.com]

Oh, Neruda. Girl, you know how to inspire me and ring my bell. Hehe, NEGL, I'm writing this Misha/Jensen fic that WAS kind of inspired by reality TV but only insofar as "huh, I should use London as a location for this story, it will add spice!"

THE TRENCHCOAT WAS THERE?!!! Omg, I missed that, too. MY GOD. Clearly should've been wearing my glasses for this one. Oh Dean, you beautiful mess of a creature. Maybe they both love it and talk to it. Break my heart, show, break my heart.

[drunkcascookies.livejournal.com]

I missed the trenchcoat too! In my head, Dean totally snuggles with the trenchcoat when he's missing Cas a lot.

Yeah, I didn't think it was the best ep, but it was middling. Certainly didn't suck as hard as S6, though. Dear god, some of those eps...