idk, i think it comes from my own fear of thinking that the second the words come out of my mouth, the fear/defensiveness/whatever is so overwhelming it overcomes all the love i feel for the person and the love vanishes into thin air. i'd much rather feel it and feel it and allow it to shape the way my body moves, how my voice sounds, the way i look at the person, than have something as little as the word come btw us or whatevs.

yeah, like, to blame Castiel, never forgive him, resent Castiel forever, beyond the grave, is like Penelope threading her needle, stitch working a pic of Odysseus getting eaten by a hydra, just because she misses him so fucking much and she hates him and she hates that he's put her through this, in this situation where she's all alone rejecting lovers right and left, putting her child in danger, hating, resenting, mistrusting so much easier than losing hope, than mourning. she won't kill him with her mind, so she keeps him alive and well every time she shakes her fist in the air and damns his eyes.

lol i've just genderswapped Dean and turned Castiel into a cunning Greek dude. ;D