swan_bite | He's holding me in his arms, Drunk and I'm seeing stars, Maybe this time I'll win

everybody and their mother has something to say about Lana del Rey these days. It's like the "give me yr thoughts on yaoi" of the internet rn, so I guess I'ma give you my thoughts. I totally understand those who yell "fake" or "fraud" at her, because I guess she sells herself one way but turns out to be another, but idgaf. Rita Hayworth was Margarita Cansino and she was not a redhead. So what? I don't expect my artists and entertainers to be authentic, I expect their work to be. Authentic in the sense that they fill me with spiritual or emotional truths, or entertain me or make me consider freestylin' tango, and that goes beyond facts and figures and lip enhancements. I could not care less if she was not born in the sidewalks of Venice Beach, if her daddy didn't recite Howl to her, didn't sing Johnny Cash instead of lullabies, and didn't point out where Humphrey and Jimmy hung out like he was pointing out memorials. idgaf if her mother didn't give her fake pearls to use as marbles, didn't blot out her scrapped knees with cotton balls soaked in rum and didn't --while drinking tequila-- use the limes she sucked on to lighten her hair. i can imagine that shit while i listen to her music and that fills me with cliched joy.

what can i say? the bitch inspires me. i like her music. i even like her failures, or-- I like her failures a lot, because everybody loves a winner so nobody loves her, but yeah-- not necessarily. what interests me in Lana is the distance between what she wants to be and what she actually is. that distance is so fucking obvious and so fucking brave. i had to learn to be that brave, because i used to be the type who didn't like to break a sweat so that others didn't see me strain. i like to see her strain, to see her nervous lip licking and her awkward as all fuck white girl twirling. it makes me think i'm seeing someone at their most vulnerable. someone half-cooked, with a coltish stumbling personality, full of false steps and possibilities.

and her hair is awesome, so. idk. ILH. *shrugs*

reading On the Road which should be required reading for all the bitches who watch Supernatural. don't believe me? lookey here:

They rushed down the street together, digging everything in the early way they had, which later became so much sadder and perceptive and sad.

...and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the one who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time...

Yes, and it wasn't only because I was a writer and needed new experiences that I wed to know Dean more, ..., but because somehow in spite of our difference in character, he reminded me of some long-lost brother;...

And his criminality was not something that sulked and sneered, it was a wild yea-saying overburst of American joy...

...eager for bread and love...

ikr?