“I don’t want to pay you for sex,” she said, in a tone of voice that implied that Dean was clearly the dumbest kid in the class. “I don’t want a one-night stand,” she told him condescendingly, “I want a sperm donor. Moron.”
"Sleep Well America" by Petite Madame
* omg, when i thought about reading this fic again i didn't remember HOW FUCKING FUNNY THIS FIC WAS!
“I’ll give you five hundred bucks.”
The parking lot was absolutely silent. Finally, two sounds interrupted the quiet – Dean shouting, “Lady, are you crazy?!” and Sam cracking up with huge guffaws.
Dean was completely shocked and appalled – at least partly because he’d actually considered it for a minute. Hey, the girl was hot, and he probably would have done her anyway. But then again, she might be evil, and also, hello, not a whore.
“Hello, not a whore,” he told the crazy lady.
She rolled her eyes again. “I don’t want to pay you for sex,” she said, in a tone of voice that implied that Dean was clearly the dumbest kid in the class. “I don’t want a one-night stand,” she told him condescendingly, “I want a sperm donor. Moron.”
Sam cracked up again while Dean just stood there and tried to process.
Not-Desdemona watched him try to cope.
“Well,” she said at last, “Thank God I’m not depending on your genes for the brains, that’s all I’ll say.”
( Read more... )
The Enterprise's first mission under the (official) captaincy of James T. Kirk.
"Vulcan Massages" by Glockart
* This fanart actually crackily encompasses what this fic is all about. Pining!Kirk and the evolution of his relationship with Spock, shaped by the residue left by that infamous mind-meld.
* I've never watched TOS so I don't know if it's true, but I read a few comments and apparently the author rewrote TOS episodes with the Reboot cast. If that's a draw for anyone then, cool.
* This was Gen Slash, meaning that the plot was as important as the "porn." Which, yeah, I totally enjoyed.
* The prose wasn't remarkably beautiful, but I liked it. It flowed, didn't feel clunky or like it got in the way of the story and the characterizations were IC and well-rounded.
* I loved how the author began a fic where Spock and Kirk were not even friends and then successfully showed the slow and convincing progress of their passionate relationship, all the while making them go in fun but increasingly dangerous adventures.
* Pon Farr, bitches, Pon Farr.
Rating: >:-I >:-I >:-I >:-I ha!