swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (angel and cotton candy)
Winter Reading List Part I

recs recs and more recs ahoy! )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
Let's Pretend the War is Over [Harry/Draco] written by [personal profile] pir8fancier & read by [personal profile] raitala
Author's Dedication: To Draco Malfoy, who, despite being batshit insane, noticed that I needed to say good-bye to my father.

Jensen Inside [Jared/Jensen, R, ALL THE PRETTY WORDS] by [profile] glassyskies
Summary: Having it Out with Melancholy

♥ i guess it's kind of funny/odd/o.O that i'd read and love these fics considering that one of my fandom nonos are fics where the characters psychoanalyze each other or talk to each other with mainstream psychology 101 terms. a lot of it has to do with the fact that i don't think dementia can be cured by following a set of predetermined steps, because a process depends on more than following instructions. i also don't like to feel like the diagnosis determines the characters more than the personality of the character determines the character. with a lot of fics that deal with mental illness it often feels like the titillation of dealing with the illness takes precedent over the search for understanding the people who suffer from it-- and idek. i just don't like that. this was not the case with these fics, though, and that's why i love them. they make me wanna read Virginia Woolf's 'Mrs. Dalloway' and her posthumously published letters, which i think is a good sign. o.O

♥ i decided to try the "Let's Pretend The War is Over" audiofic because i'd listened to raitala before and she has a simple voice that is inconspicuous enough not to get in the way of whatever story she's telling. i'd rather listen to an understated reading than overacting, which takes me out of the story faster than you can say William Shatner (i love you, Will!).

♥ it was cool to hear this fic first and then read "Jensen Inside" because --wow-- Draco and Jensen could not be different-er ;D. sure they both suffer from dementia, but one mental state is not like another, and people ain't either. yet there was a certain gorgeous frailty to both of them that spoke to me. it felt like sharing that fic-world was like being dropped inside a snow globe, except that the crystal was so delicate that one brush of the fingertips against the surface of the glass would be enough to crack it.

♥ in "Let's Pretend" Draco has these rules he has to follow in order to stay right on the edge of his (in)sanity and not fall over into the abyss. the issue here is that since he can't really trust himself (his moments of lucidity allow him to realize that he's not all there, there) many of his hallucinations are --in fact-- not hallucinations at all. in Draco's case, he has lost his family, friends, his social standing. the world has forsaken him, become the enemy, and so gradually the loss becomes a palpable thing for him. the world a monster called "The Outside" ready to contaminate him with its nothingness.

♥ in Jensen's case, the dementia comes because of-- nothing at all, apparently. it's like Joker's line in "The Dark Knight" Madness, as you know, is a lot like gravity, all it takes is a little push. Jensen's madness is like this latent seed that pulses inside and is at any moment ready to grow out like creeping ivy. there are rules here also, i guess, but they are much less concrete, much more complex and intricate. Draco is much more adversarial than Jensen is, and so he creates these insanity gods which he simultaneously obeys and plots against. with Jensen it's an insidious silent painful thing that can't be pointed to, obliterated, personified in any way. like the Tao of insanity or something.

“Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly cockroach, fluttering creeping hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly insect. I was conscious only of my happiness melancholia as a butterfly cockroach, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awakened, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly cockroach, or whether I am now a butterfly cockroach, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly cockroach there is necessarily a distinction. The transition is called the transformation of material things.”
― Zhuangzi (Kafkad by me xP)

♥ in both fics there was a learning curve that their partners had to go through in order to -- dare I say-- help? with Jared it was anger and denial at first. incomprehension and guilt. with Harry it was his natural impetuousness, his blundering desire to fix and save. they learned a lot, though, from the love, from the pain and the heartache. there's a Francesca Lia Block passage that talks about how pain can make you see more or it can blind you, depends on what you do with it. both of these fics show that even when it tries to blind you, there's always second sight.

yeah, okay, so i like hope. suck it. ;D

quotes )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (THANK CHUCK FOR COLLINS)
Blind/Dates by ~Captanddeastar
* Charming, Adorable, Flawless, Lovely Etc.
* Rom-comy without being annoying about it.
* Peter is Captain Oblivious, and yes, I've met people like that who are brilliant but wouldn't know you were flirting with them if you hit them on the nose with your undies.
* Neal is the Ambassador of Sexy and Elizabeth is as epic as always.
* OT3 forever, bb.

A Lot of Walking by ~Ewinfic
* So I read the A/N about the Big Gay Freakout and thought it was gonna be a combo of funny and heartbreaking-- well, it was crack on top of crack on top of more crack.
* John was awesome as Gay (But really Heterosexual) Zen Master.
* Their "Sexy" conversation is too graphic to be passionate, imo, so again? Crack.

You have one saved Message by ~Killabeez
* Well-written, but just a smidgen too sappy for me. I need more restraint in my fics, or something. IDEK.


Lady and the Tramp by Joanna Johnen
Flaws upon your sleeve by ~Glassy Skies
Fucking Sebastian Roché. All his fault. Go to drama school, grow your talent, London will be good for you, blah blah blah.  )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (zombiefied mm)

"Turkey Shoot" by Pink Kafka

friction match
"It's the end of the world. You can be anyone you choose to be." Daryl Dixon, at the end of the world.
Daryl, Glenn, Rick, Andrea, ensemble. Gen, with canon pairings. Daryl & Glenn friendship.
~24,800 (complete)

* I love apocafics because I like when people get stretched to their very limits. most love stories (i'm not saying love is this way --cause I don't like to make generalizations because in yr life love might be unicorns, but fiction, ya know?) are apocafics in a way, anyway, so.
* last time I read a story from a hick pov, I was reading Twain. this is part of what I love about fanfiction, that its gaze based on girl gaze, based on queer or bi girl gaze, based on straight girl who is interested in queering gaze. that gaze finds beauty and finds understanding in even the types of dudes who are usually nothing but the butts of "Deliverance" jokes.
* i read it as UST between Glenn and Daryl, and then I read it as Gen and it works either way because the author finds/shows the passion of family and friendship.
* i'm rly interested in family (duh) and I tend to MOST enjoy fandoms where family features heavily, like SPN, HP and TWD. i was thinking about how Daryl is like Draco, who has to grow up and reject his family in order to find his family.

Rating: (x(x_(X_x(o_O)x_x)_X)x)
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (sam & dean looking at stars)
the family business
“I don’t want to pay you for sex,” she said, in a tone of voice that implied that Dean was clearly the dumbest kid in the class. “I don’t want a one-night stand,” she told him condescendingly, “I want a sperm donor. Moron.”
sam/dean (supernatural)
15,000 words

"Sleep Well America" by Petite Madame

* omg, when i thought about reading this fic again i didn't remember HOW FUCKING FUNNY THIS FIC WAS!
“I’ll give you five hundred bucks.”

The parking lot was absolutely silent. Finally, two sounds interrupted the quiet – Dean shouting, “Lady, are you crazy?!” and Sam cracking up with huge guffaws.

Dean was completely shocked and appalled – at least partly because he’d actually considered it for a minute. Hey, the girl was hot, and he probably would have done her anyway. But then again, she might be evil, and also, hello, not a whore.

“Hello, not a whore,” he told the crazy lady.

She rolled her eyes again. “I don’t want to pay you for sex,” she said, in a tone of voice that implied that Dean was clearly the dumbest kid in the class. “I don’t want a one-night stand,” she told him condescendingly, “I want a sperm donor. Moron.”

Sam cracked up again while Dean just stood there and tried to process.

Not-Desdemona watched him try to cope.

“Well,” she said at last, “Thank God I’m not depending on your genes for the brains, that’s all I’ll say.”

Read more... )

The Enterprise's first mission under the (official) captaincy of James T. Kirk.

"Vulcan Massages" by Glockart

* This fanart actually crackily encompasses what this fic is all about. Pining!Kirk and the evolution of his relationship with Spock, shaped by the residue left by that infamous mind-meld.
* I've never watched TOS so I don't know if it's true, but I read a few comments and apparently the author rewrote TOS episodes with the Reboot cast. If that's a draw for anyone then, cool.
* This was Gen Slash, meaning that the plot was as important as the "porn." Which, yeah, I totally enjoyed.
* The prose wasn't remarkably beautiful, but I liked it. It flowed, didn't feel clunky or like it got in the way of the story and the characterizations were IC and well-rounded.
* I loved how the author began a fic where Spock and Kirk were not even friends and then successfully showed the slow and convincing progress of their passionate relationship, all the while making them go in fun but increasingly dangerous adventures.
* Pon Farr, bitches, Pon Farr.

Rating: >:-I >:-I >:-I >:-I ha!
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (x-mas Jared)

easy on the clutch
in which sam turns sixteen in panabaker, new hampshire, and dean teaches him to drive.
sam/dean (supernatural)
31,000 words
I loved this story and could not give less of a shit that there's no clutch in the Impala, because as the author says, this story is not really about driving. I'd read the fic a while ago, but I must say I loved it more than the first time. Back in the day, when I first read it I totally expected fics to be like this-- well-written, with fleshed out characters, and plots that jived with the way I look at canon. And yeah, fics that said something about life in a way. Now, I can appreciate this much more, having read many fics where nope, nothing like that seems to happen and the writer uses their fic to push a particular agenda, rather than trying to discover/reflect something. This story could have gone on forever and I wouldn't have minded. I just wanted to live in that sad, poignant little world where the boys stuck out like sore thumbs, Sam was becoming a man and Dean was thought of as the creepy older brother rather than as the bad-boy cool one.

Gushing in bulletsies:

* I really like when Dean and Sam know each other (duh) and yet, are still a mystery to each other as well. Irreplaceable Intimacy + Insurmountable Differences = Delish Conflict. It's the kind of conflict we see on the show, where Sam goes to Standford and becomes a stranger, and then Sam drinks blood and becomes a stranger, and then Robo!Sam and he becomes a stranger and here he is in a Pre-Standford fic, the first of such metamorphosis becoming a stranger to Dean who no longer knows how to be his big brother/father/mother. I was reading "Practical Magic" (totally different from the movie, by the way) at the same time, and it reminded me of how Sally felt about her teenage daughter Kylie.

Sam is harder, though. He's always changing—body shifting right in front of Dean's eyes, muscles rippling up out of nowhere, veins in his forearms surfacing overnight. The baby fat's already hollowing out from his cheeks and the bones in his face are sharp and angular now, so his smile almost looks too big.

Read more... )
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
* so apparently when i say "i'm gonna do the blogowrimo" i mean i will watch "Arrested Development: and "Parks and Recreation" ignore the hell out of LJ, read books, and lurk like a hor on tumblr.

* i've been using a DW to private post my favorite fics because SPN has made me afraid as fuck of losing all the fics i hold close to my heart because some brilliantly talented author no longer feels any joy in this fandom and doesn't want (totally justifiable, because it's every author's right) to post their fics online. what do you guys do to save your favorite fics?

*pls to not be talking to me about the latest episode, because i haven't watched it-- I'm scared to. I feel so hopeless ever since Castiel went the way of Virginia Wolf and I haven't been able to feel the same joy and excitement I used to feel when I watched the show, and I'm just really apprehensive. though I'm actually kind of weird since sometimes tragedy makes me go in the other direction-- like "Glory" with Den Washington: that kind of tragedy lifts me up into the stratosphere. I'm not sure though, that SPN can deliver that amount of beautiful catharsis.

* want a card or a card and a book? made by little old me? go here! xP some awesomesauce bitches have already signed up. don't miss out on my cracktastic fanart cards and flawless taste in gay books! ;DDDDD

FanReading List for the Holidays.
i encourage y'all to do this, create your own reading lists of fics and comment, because comments are ♥ and authors everyone can use a little ♥ during the Holidays.
Read more... )


swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)

July 2015

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