swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
The King Ontd_SPN is dead! Long live The Queen SPN_Party!


this fandom is an embarrassment of riches, and i keep it that way by not reading EVERYTHING a fab author writes at once. greed is not good, not when resources are precious and scarce, and with as much great writing there is in this fandom, it is a finite resource so-- i savor every bit of greatness there is and re-savor it sometimes, in favor of reading something new from an author i love. that's how you don't burn yrself out, ladies and gentlemen.

Second Map of the World by ~Candle_Beck

Redefinition by ~Whereupon

History of Love by ~Glassy Skies

sorry if this post makes no sense or feels abrupt or whatever, but i'm just attempting to jot down random impressions in a semi-coherent stream-of-consciousness manner.

i often think Candle Beck's writing is the handsome young brother of Glassy's gorgeous, graceful writing. like, they both have poetry in their DNA, but Candle is more of a non-annoying, non-pervy (yeah, even with the Wincest) version of Hemingway and Gauguin if he'd been a writer not a painter and Johnny Cash if he'd gotten into prose, and Glassy is much more Fitzgerald and Lorca and Nin and Artemisia and Camille Claudel. Whereupon lies somewhere between those two sensibilities in a way that's all hir own (and i'm not saying that Artemisia is like Claudel and that Cash is like Hemingway, but that-- idek-- *shrugs* that's what comes to me when I read their stories).

anyway, i'd read Candle_Beck's story before, but i decided I wanted to read it again because of what Albert Brooks said in the recent Oscar Round Table about the difference btw great actors and good actors. like, Christopher Plummer talked about the great rage, great temperament as the mark of being a great actor. Albert Brooks and Gary Oldman on the other hand spoke about great actors as being able to live truthfully in fictitious circumstances, but without filling out all the blanks for the audience. Leaving spaces empty for the audience to fill in with themselves. And this is what Candle Beck does and what Whereupon does and what Glassy Skies does. They give generously, but they know the genius of restraint, of not whoring and shoving and spreading so much out that nothing is left for the imagination. In those quiet seemingly blank spaces the reader has room to speak and think and feel and take away.

in Candle's story, we are introduced into the cataclysmic moment when Sam accidentally reveals his romantic love for Dean. this has been done in a million different ways, and yet, you read the story and it feels completely fresh and new because --yeah, while we might suspect that everything will be alright and they'll get together in the end (though you never know with Candle 'cause zie likes to fuck wichu) the story illustrates that moment in between wanting and knowing yr love is reciprocated. and we've all gone through this, the yearning for love, even if it's like totally directionless and you have no actual object of love to pine for. it's the universality in the story that makes it so powerful, not the fact that these are two specific dudes going for the incest because nobody should live alone and die alone and be so bereft. (the canon allows for this because the canon allows for superhuman emotional stregth that does not exist irl.) and yet Candle doesn't neglect the two dudes in order to show this love-yearning, because zie doesn't niss seeing the trees for the forest and vice versa.

in Glassy's story, well. Glassy loves to talk about loss...because when you talk about loss you talk about love at its most intense and brightest. there's no loss without love, not rly. that's why Buddha advices letting go of desire. without desire there's no pain. without desire though, a fierce and all-consuming desire, we have no stories. think about it. remember the last time you read and was interested in a story where the characters didn't want anything, weren't propelled by any driving purpose. yeah. here Castiel is losing his omniscience and what does it mean for a creature like him to no longer remember everything? who are we without our canon of memories? idk. it's fucking scary, is what is is, and heartbreaking.

from ~Whereupon's Redefinition:

Love, as far as he's concerned, has nothing to do with marriages and mortgages and those stupid songs about growing old together. He gets the songs about hanging out with some girl, about thinking she's hot and wanting to sleep with her and then sleeping with her and wishing that could last forever, he really does, but that isn't love, not the way he understands it. Love is staying up all night and pretending not to look at the clock the whole time, waiting for somebody to get home, like keeping vigil ever made a damn bit of difference; love is pulling the trigger again and again until it feels like your arm is going to break, so that when it isn't practice, when it's real, you won't miss. Love is going hungry so that somebody else can eat, and love is telling lies so that somebody else can sleep, and love is wanting a better life for somebody else. Love is the ashes-and-whiskey, gut-punched feeling when they finally get it, and love is not asking them to turn it down, and love is feeling like a fucking asshole for being even just a little happy when they come back.

While definitions are found in dictionaries, this is why i listen to great music and read wonderful poems and novels and fanfics and watch films. for these redefinitions that both narrow down meanings to specific fictitious lives and circumstances and deepen and widen meanings, revealing them in the most personal/universal of ways so that they apply to us/everyone.

these fics are rated: all the star-eyes. *_*
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (ahhhhhhhhhhhh!)
so this round could pretty much be called "Second Chances" because that seems to be the main theme of fics, or maybe i'm just noticing that more because that's the theme of the Holidays for me. second and third and eighth fucking chances if that's what you need to look at yr life and look at yr choices (DON'T TELL ME THE SASSY GAY FRIEND DIDN'T REMIND YOU OF THE GHOST OF X-MAS PRESENT!) and start making something out of yrself before yr dead and buried and all the chances came and went, like inconstant lovers or some shit like that.

i'm using [livejournal.com profile] faithwood's lovely little table for ALL THE RECS, because of reasons (convenient ones). thanx, ~faith.

Humbug [Harry/Draco, NC-17, 30K] by anon @ [livejournal.com profile] hd_holidays
Summary:Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

this is the kind of fic that you never knew you wanted, but as you're reading it you ask yourself "HOW DID I LIVE IN FANDOM WITHOUT EVER READING A FIC LIKE THIS?" "A Christmas Carol" reinvented, with an awesome/douchey Brian Kinney-like!Draco finding out that having a lovely, beautiful person in his life who adores him is more important than having all the Galleons in the world. specially when he already has all the Galleons in the world, and what he's lacking's a consistent amount of awesome nekkid lovely boy. also? Snape is the best Sassy Het Friend ever. even if he really has to look at himself and his hair choices.

Defused [Dean/Castiel, PG-13, 3K] by [livejournal.com profile] angel_kink
Summary:Dean is determined to defuse Castiel while simultaneously dealing with the repercussions of Sam’s wall breaking.

overall, really enjoyable. the writing style wasn't always my cuppa because 1) i'm a picky mcpicker 2) i never go for: They were tears of fear, sadness, and pain all at the same time. i don't want to be told that the tears are of fear, sadness and pain. i want to decide those things for myself, i want to feel that they are of fear, sadness, whatever, without being told they are. however, this is fic was a detailed, awesome blueprint of exactly what i wished had happened in canon, specially on the Castiel front. so! all in all, i pronounce it cool.

The Jared Padalecki Untitled Project [JP/JA, NC-17, Long-fic] by [livejournal.com profile] sometimesophie
Summary: After Supernatural, Jensen and Jared aren't talking. But a film's a film and Jensen could really use the money.

* in the immortal words of my little niece while we were watching Sense and Sensibility last night, "OMG WHY DON'T THEY JUST TALK?"
* i was gonna compare this fic to Pride and Prejudice, but then I realized it was more like "Persuasion"-- JA's last novel.
* don't believe me? believe wiki: More than seven years prior to the events in the novel, Anne Elliot falls in love with a handsome young naval officer named Frederick Wentworth, who is intelligent and ambitious, but poor. Sir Walter, Anne's father and lord of the family estate of Kellynch, and her older sister Elizabeth are dissatisfied with her choice, maintaining that he is not distinguished enough for their family. Her older friend and mentor, Lady Russell, acting in place of Anne's deceased mother, persuades her to break off the match.

Now, aged 27 and still unmarried, Anne re-encounters her former fiancé when his sister and brother-in-law, the Crofts, take out a lease on Kellynch. Wentworth, now a captain, is wealthy from wartime victories in the Royal Navy and from prize-money for capturing enemy ships. However, he has not forgiven Anne for her rejection of him.

The self-interested machinations of Anne's father, her older sister Elizabeth, Elizabeth's friend Mrs. Clay, and William Elliot (Anne's cousin and her father's heir) constitute important subplots.

* told ya.
* also, in Austenian fashion, money is an issue. because, well, money IS an issue.
* i love second chances, and i love this fic, for all it is and all it chooses to be.
* i do think that we could have seen a bit more of why J was so willing to give J a chance, because, dear Lord-- on reread it's hard to figure out J's motivation *vague vague vague 'cause spoilers* outside of wanting to apply for sainthood.

Cause You've got an Awefully Long Way to Go [Puck/Kurt, PG-13, 10K] by [livejournal.com profile] paperclipbitch
Summary:“Let me get this straight,” Kurt begins, resisting the urge to laugh, “you knocked up Finn’s girlfriend and you want to apologise to him by trying to make him gay?”

this fic is funny and sexy and adorable, and i love love love it when douchey teenage boys turn a new leaf. because that's what being a teenager is all about, first being a douche and then turning into a human being once you learn to see other people as human beings, too. :D
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (puppy & his dog)
* RIP you gorgeous dog. i'm trying not to think about this too much, i can't really process animals dying.

* what i look for in fanfic in general terms. these are generalizations, because --as we all know-- a good writers can seduce us into making plenty of exceptions despite or worst or better judgment.

* in poetic terms what i look for in fanfic: between the shadow and the soul )

emotional exhibitionism, the need to Hollywood it up and seek public validation, or validation from certain people, the belief that your love ain't enough until you go to a dinner and have people clap as you tilt and kiss? squicks me quite as much as the squickiest thing you can think of. like a chan scat watersports noncon OOC fic. because it's reality tv masquerading as fanfic. my favorite fanfic authors do not take their inspirations from the Jersey shore or the Kardashians.

* i thought [livejournal.com profile] fleshflutter was coming back. it's taking longer than i expected and i'm not enjoying the wait. i also miss [livejournal.com profile] squishyball. *HOLDS UP A BOOMBOX* *IN YOUR EYES THE LIGHT THE HEAT IN YOUR EYES I AM COMPLETE*

* i totally missed the trenchcoat! how could i miss it? well, i had less than an optimal experience watching the show yesterday. i rudely invited myself to an SPN chatroom with [livejournal.com profile] angel_kink while she was less than inclined to discuss a show she's currently boycotting with me, for obvious fucking reasons, and proceeded to ignore me while talking about Carnivale, which she warned me was "slow but brilliant." i then left having realized the error of my ways, and it kind of shaped my opinion of the episode, which has been somewhat redeemed in my eyes with that day-after perspective one gets after the pounding headache of the hangover has abated. the pretty wincesty gifs in tumblr didn't hurt. who knew that tumblr was going to turn into my source of canon-squee. it's still no more than passable, but it's not poo (as i told [livejournal.com profile] drunkcascookies yesterday).
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (my drunkcryes)
* Has anybody had Maple Budino? I've had it and I saw it recently raved about on TV. For anyone who hasn't had any, this is it. Right? Yummy. Well, this episode was like eating my budino and then finding a few flies in it. Basically: Yumyumyum NOOOOOOOOOOOOO Yumyumyumyum NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Budino bite: the Preshow Power Run. That Power Run & Ballerina stretch are life restoring. ;D (RDJ would approve)
Budino bite: Sam & Dean being brotherly aka "Yeah, okay. " I can see the Teencester fics from here. (rec me some and I'll love you forever.)
Budino bite: IS THAT A CASTIEL I SEE? It is! It is!
Budino bite: Dean in Red. Laaaaaaaaaaady in reeeeeeeeed, dancing with me. Cheek to cheek.
Budino bite: "I observe with my eyes." hehehe I beg to differ. Most of Dean's observations are heart-dick-gut based.
Budino bite: The Leviathan dude chillaxin' in his crap car with chillaxin' music. I'll miss that dude.
Budino bite: HAHAHAHAHAHA Restless leg syndrome HAHAHAHAHAHA Also, that car looked like a toy next to him. I thought he was gonna pick it up and throw it or put it in his pocket instead of move it like he did. But I guess leaning on it was better for errybody so.
Fly: Sexism; if Maggie wasn't all busy with her charity and other trivial stuff then Don wouldn't have cheated. O RLY?!?!
Budino bite: Spoiler Alert! :D Love when they use fandom slang in their show. It makes me glowey inside.
Budino bite: HEARTS IN MY CUPCAKES & Jenny (cute assistant) being "EW OLD MARRIED GUY ASIF"
Fly: Homophobia. Oh look at that conniving lesbian homewrecking lesbian conniver conniving to homewreck & now look at how she must die. How transgressive and non-faily. Or actually the opposite. Citation needed? Go here and here. ****
Budino bite: Dean trying to give relationship advice while getting so caught up in the kink side of things that he forgets what he's saying. MOVE ASIDE DR DREW!
Budino bite: A show where one of the characters claims to have bonked Christopher Columbus can't be all bad.
Budino bite: Maggie making Sam sit his ass down, son, and meaning it.
Budino bite: "You can unload. That's kind of what I'm here for!" *I AM PERV, HEAR ME FAP*

**** Yeah, it wasn't cool that Sue was machinating to keep the Witches apart, but she was written that way so that we could cheer when her head was cut off. It reminded me of when I saw "Braveheart" at the movies and a whole slew of people started cheering when the King threw the Prince's lover boy out of the window. I won't even ask you to not kill my gay characters Mainstream media (for that I have fanfic, where gay characters are heroes, get the boy or girl and save the world) I'll just ask you not to ask me to clap when it happens. Is that too difficult?

Random Notes:
\o/ I don't like Twilight and I don't write fanfic, but the "Hearts in my Cupcakes" scene made me think of domestic!Twilight. ;D I can just see Werewolf!Boy in an apron, and nothing else, umm, once he's of age O.O, cooking cupcake hearts for Edward.

\o/ How come Cas girls don't rly have a party comm, or is the party comm tumblr? tumblr is a good party comm. Except when the awesome fangirls are so frothy and flaily over their fictional gay cuties they shit on and handwave the concerns of real life gay cuties. That kinda sucks.

\o/ I love how Misha was tweeting pics of Jensen's eyes (my experience of fanfic Misha is not this romantic, fluffy Misha is now IC), because it made the lack of Castiel somewhat bearable.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (starfighter heart eyes)
1. My Flist is talking about Mary Sues again! Which seems to be really necessary, because people keep missing the point which is, DO NOT USE THE TERM MARY SUE AS ANOTHER WAY TO DISMISS FEMALE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. (Also, stop using the term to deflect the potentially sexist reason you ((yes, and I)) may have to hate a female fictional character. 'Cause I may hate a fic girl for a good reason, for a sexist reason, or for a good and sexist reason, but saying "She's a Mary Sue" may stop me from examining my reasons, and my prejudices and may slow my process in becoming slightly less faily).

2. Was going to look at a 7.4 promo thingy despite my former claims of spoilerphobia, but when I clicked on the play button and Sera's face apparitioned on my screen-- dear lord, it was like someone had just peed on my Krispy Kreams. you know how sometimes you don't like a certain fandom person, because they are like the nails scrapping a chalkboard of your Fandom life? and them you come across them in some comm or on yr dash? this is how I feel about about Sera. Just looking at her makes me feel sour, and this is not a good feeling. She's to me what Bucky fucken' Dent is to the Red Socks. Sera Fucken' Gamble. (I don't dislike her as a person. I dislike her writing and her decisions and how she blithely confesses not knowing what characters she is responsible for would do in X and Y situations. The way she works, to me, reflects a lack of respect for her audience. Aaaaaaaand I say all this because I am conscious of how this appears, defending fictional girls and criticizing a Real Life Woman in a position of power in the same post. C'est la vie, I'm snarky enough to shrug and wish she didn't suck so I didn't have to say she sucked.)

3. Nevertheless I was somewhat spoiled by a friend and apparently spoiler )

4. Got this from the tumblr Slaughterhouse90210 “She hated the nameless women in stories, as if they lived and died so that men could have metaphysical insights.”
—Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding

Sound familiar? huh? huh?

5. CONGRATS WORLD, BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY GETTING A NEW HAPPY AND FABULOUSLY HAIRED, POTENTIALLY MOOSEY ADDITION! In other words, congrats Gen and Jared. It's awesome when awesomeness comes together to create more awesome. As God, the first slasher told Adam and Eve when he got them together in that Garden, go forth and multiply. Or at least, practice. (makes perfect bbs).

6. Since we're talking about het (^ look above) lemme talk a little bit about this het fic read I read with future!Cas and Anna, and if anybody wants a look at it, i'll even scrounge up the link. Anyways, I was reading the fic, because my love of Jane has made me so much more open to het pairings (I always was okay with them, but I seldom went out searching because heterosexuality is so pervasive and fandom was like this breeze of non-heteronormative air or whatever, which I need less and less as more and more girls who are aware of queerness, aware of feminism, just, you know! aware write fics with girls with boys in ways which that are as transgressive as m/m or f/f ((and sometimes m/m and f/f or f/m/f or m/f/m fics are sadly not)) and I started weeping (inside) at how it could have been if we'd had Cas turn human instead of -- of-- whatever the hell happened. I could almost envision the barrage of bittersweet fic, when Cas realizes that if he wants to get from point A to point B he's going to have to do more than douche-squint, when he realizes his body needs sleep, sustenance, sex. When Dean starts looking at him differently because he IS different, himself yes, but a man also. Idk. They cheated themselves out of awesome canon and totally cheated us.

7. Comic rec: Starfighter. (look @ icon)

8. This year I read The Mind's Eye, Touching the Rock by Hull and now The Quiet Verse feels like a continuation. Jensen's written like a whole body listener, and while he's not ready to surrender to the silence (DO NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE SOUNDLESS NIGHT!) neither is he bitter about it. For some reason, while familiar and instantly recognizable is well and good, imo fresh and original always makes things seem realer. ;D

9. Communities I'm excited about/currently lurking/stalking: [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bookclub, [livejournal.com profile] sd_recs, and [livejournal.com profile] hd_canon_fest (I'm not rly that excited about that one ((not because the comm sux, just that my fandom spirit has waned on h/d)) but I'm using it to get into the H/D mood for x-mass because I've read hd_hols fanfic for the past 5 years and not doing it again would be too, too sad.)

10. tumblr is no longer enemy #1. it's actually lifting my spirits on the whole Cas issue. I know, I accept the title of Fickle Hor and thank you for the crown, it's lovely today, but I may change my mind so stick around. It's so full of Castiel is the ambassador of awesome, trufax and OMG AVENGERS MY BODY IS SO READY/EVERYTHING IS JOSS WHEDON AND NOTHING HURTS, SURPRISINGLY ((UNLESS HE KILLS LOKI, THE BAAASTERD)) that I just click, let my clicker roam and smile. like this: :D. tumblr, bringing a smile to my face since 5 seconds ago though before that it made me want to kick puppies in the face. WHO KNEW?
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (superhero)
i love Jane. LOVE HER.

I'm trying to find as many Thor/Jane fics as I can, because yes-- Loki is the raven-haired (you can tell I read fanfiction ;D) version of Draco, with his sharp features and sharper mind, his egotism and insecurity, his cunning deviousness and desire to be loved, but --bitch-- she giggled and stole my pants heart. ;D I expected Jane to be all feisty, or faux-indifferent to Thor's considerable assets, or hard-to-get because girl-agency is usually based on "you will rescue me and my vagina before I give her and me to you"-- but she was different than that. She was smart, and charming and girly without being insipid, and instead of dropping some scathing comment to shape him into a gent...she just...she just expected more from him, expected better. So I'm in love with Jane, basically is what I'm saying. I ship her with anybody. Anybody at all, as long as she's in there somewhere.



swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)

July 2015

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