swan_bite: (attention grabbing ho)
* I have some of [profile] yourperiphery 's fics. If anybody wants them, hit me up.

* Apparently, only [profile] jetaimerai hasn't received the Holiday package. Everybody else got theirs. I sent another today, because it's not fair you haven't gotten anything. If you get two, dollface, then good for you.

* I made an easily misunderstood cis-sounding comment in Fanficrants and so I'm trying to find books that deal with transgendered people. I have friends who are transgendered and *TMITMITMIcoolstorybro* but that means diddly, and I'm well aware of how "I have friends who are X, Y, Z" sounds. In fact, I'm not even sure I'm using the term correctly or I sound like a cis-douche. Funnily enough, I was reading Beauty Queens and got some surprise ex-Boybander/Transgendered woman (inspired by Justin Timberlake, I shit you not) and I saw it as destiny. Fate doesn't want me to be an ignorant cis and this will the year of LEARNING. My F-list if fabulous, so if you guys have read any novels or nonfiction about any of this or have watched amazing life-altering movies, pls help me.

* I told my bff I wanted to read Proust this year, because of reasons having to do with wanting to make ALL THE SHIT democratic, and she said, "Ew." And I was like, rme bitch, don't discourage me, and she was all like, "If Proust was alive these days he'd be a twitter addict. 'For a long time I used to go to bed early.' What the hell is that?" LOLIRL Nonetheless, I'm gonna strive to read Vol. I 'cause, damn it. Proust should be read by errybody, snobby dickheads be damned.

* Read the second book of the Vampire Academy series (Frostbite) and liked it plenty less than the first. I did snort at the killing-of-dude-for-womanpain, but meh. Read The Privilege of the Sword and enjoyed it more than I thought I would after not rly enjoying The Fall of Kings. I was super surprised that there was a rape scene in it, because the mood didn't seem to merit it (yeah, I know, that sounds weird; wtf is the mood for rape?) Like, okay, Riverside used to be a brutal place back in the day, but in this novel there was no resonance to any of the tragedies. It was like, weirdly lighthearted rape, murder and disability. o.O Plus, as always with Kushner's stuff, the threads feel a bit loose and frayed. I know, nit picker from nit picker hell. Idek. It's not like I necessarily consider this a flaw, but I just always feel like I'm going to meet people who are not going to matter further on and that there will be plots that will be left hanging in the air or resolve themselves abruptly. I once read the phrase "fanfic for invisible canon" and I think I could apply that to TPotS. Despite all this bitchin' I liked it. 3 star-eyes or whatever.

* WATCHED ALL THE REVENGE AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. you bitches probably never watched Telenovelas, but this is the Girlfriend Telenovela experience. i? am incredibly addicted and anybody who loves to see fierce bitches displaying their fierce bitchery like fiercely bitching bitches should watch it. :D

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* On other news, I'm still on Season 2 of Lost. :D I regret nothing, no surplus of fucks given here.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)
* awesome conversation with [personal profile] lettered (who knows ALL THE THINGS about magical realism and is really impressive --but not annoying-- about it) on the subject of magical realism and urban fantasy (NOT THE SAME PEOPLE, NOT THE SAME) here. if you guys want to write me/rec me some magical realism, i would not be opposed.

i think magical realism was born in Latin America because in Latin cultures in informal settings you're kind of expected to hyperbolize and make really expressive hand gestures to make whatever story you're telling interesting and convey ALL THE FEELINGS and not just the happenings while you do it. the listener will then just sift through the figurative language to get to whatever actually happened, but in an instinctive way. so nobody thinks "lies, lies, exaggeration" they just know that when you tell a story, you're always editing and adding and taking away, and factual retelling of events would lack the feelings and they'd have to extrapolate anyway, to get at the psychology and the relationships. because objectivity is a mental state and like all mental states, it's subjective and influenced by perception. so yeah. magical realism is REALLY different from urban fantasy (which depends on worldsplaining and building). not better. different.

* End of the Year Book Flail: Gone with the Wind (yay), The Lincoln Lawyer (boo!), Push (yay), Pope Joan (meh), Silver Phoenix (first it was yay then meh then boo!), Jane Eyre (yay), The Wet Nurse's Tale (yay), Whisling in the Dark (boo!), The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (first I was zzzzz then I was yay! capricious, i know, it happens), Blood Brothers (not my cuppa), The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks (meh), Wes and Toreth (meh), Zero at the Bone (boo!), Dead until Dark (double boo!), Mockingjay (meh), The Road (yay), The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas (yay), The Panda's Thumb (yay), Catching Fire (yay), The Graveyard Book (yay), Havemercy (yay), Shadowmagic (yay), Liquor: A Novel (yay), Swordspoint (yay), The Mismeasure of Man (yay), The Hunger Games (yay), Kushiel's dart (yay), Dragon Soul (yay), The Master and Margarita (yay), Slaughterhouse Five (yay), Return of the Black Death (yay), Heist Society (yay), Uncommon Criminals (yay), Maybe this Time (yay), Welcome to Temptation (meh), Demon's Surrender (yay), Practical Magic (yay), The Living Dead (yay), The Living Dead 2 (yay), Red Glove (yay), The Witching Hour (meh), The Grand Sophy (mostly yay with some boo!), As Meat Loves Salt (double yay), Feed (double yay), Gaia: a new look at life on earth (yay), The Forrest of Hands and Teeth (yay), An Assembly such as this (Fitzwilliam Darcy Gentleman) (cool), Just one of the Guys (cute), Coundown (a novella| cool), uglies (yay), pretties (yay), specials(yay), The Fall of Kings (meh), Neptune Noir (a collection of essays on Veronica Mars| cool), White Cat (yay), Skinned (yay), Crashed (yay), All I ever Wanted (cute), Blood and Chocolate (yay), Deadline (cool), Conquistadora (cool), Island Beneath the Sea (yay), Lovely Bones (disturbingly yay), American Gods (yay), The Bell Jar (surprisingly easy read, a lovely yay), The Count of Monte Christo (yay).

in conclusion: i like most of what i read, though sometimes i change my mind about whether i've liked or hated a book the more i think about it. i seem to hate professional slash and find it badfic'ish, i like zombies a lot, i don't hate the romance genre (or at least some permutations of it) and i really enjoy YA dystopias.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (starfighter heart eyes)
1. My Flist is talking about Mary Sues again! Which seems to be really necessary, because people keep missing the point which is, DO NOT USE THE TERM MARY SUE AS ANOTHER WAY TO DISMISS FEMALE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. (Also, stop using the term to deflect the potentially sexist reason you ((yes, and I)) may have to hate a female fictional character. 'Cause I may hate a fic girl for a good reason, for a sexist reason, or for a good and sexist reason, but saying "She's a Mary Sue" may stop me from examining my reasons, and my prejudices and may slow my process in becoming slightly less faily).

2. Was going to look at a 7.4 promo thingy despite my former claims of spoilerphobia, but when I clicked on the play button and Sera's face apparitioned on my screen-- dear lord, it was like someone had just peed on my Krispy Kreams. you know how sometimes you don't like a certain fandom person, because they are like the nails scrapping a chalkboard of your Fandom life? and them you come across them in some comm or on yr dash? this is how I feel about about Sera. Just looking at her makes me feel sour, and this is not a good feeling. She's to me what Bucky fucken' Dent is to the Red Socks. Sera Fucken' Gamble. (I don't dislike her as a person. I dislike her writing and her decisions and how she blithely confesses not knowing what characters she is responsible for would do in X and Y situations. The way she works, to me, reflects a lack of respect for her audience. Aaaaaaaand I say all this because I am conscious of how this appears, defending fictional girls and criticizing a Real Life Woman in a position of power in the same post. C'est la vie, I'm snarky enough to shrug and wish she didn't suck so I didn't have to say she sucked.)

3. Nevertheless I was somewhat spoiled by a friend and apparently spoiler )

4. Got this from the tumblr Slaughterhouse90210 “She hated the nameless women in stories, as if they lived and died so that men could have metaphysical insights.”
—Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding

Sound familiar? huh? huh?

5. CONGRATS WORLD, BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY GETTING A NEW HAPPY AND FABULOUSLY HAIRED, POTENTIALLY MOOSEY ADDITION! In other words, congrats Gen and Jared. It's awesome when awesomeness comes together to create more awesome. As God, the first slasher told Adam and Eve when he got them together in that Garden, go forth and multiply. Or at least, practice. (makes perfect bbs).

6. Since we're talking about het (^ look above) lemme talk a little bit about this het fic read I read with future!Cas and Anna, and if anybody wants a look at it, i'll even scrounge up the link. Anyways, I was reading the fic, because my love of Jane has made me so much more open to het pairings (I always was okay with them, but I seldom went out searching because heterosexuality is so pervasive and fandom was like this breeze of non-heteronormative air or whatever, which I need less and less as more and more girls who are aware of queerness, aware of feminism, just, you know! aware write fics with girls with boys in ways which that are as transgressive as m/m or f/f ((and sometimes m/m and f/f or f/m/f or m/f/m fics are sadly not)) and I started weeping (inside) at how it could have been if we'd had Cas turn human instead of -- of-- whatever the hell happened. I could almost envision the barrage of bittersweet fic, when Cas realizes that if he wants to get from point A to point B he's going to have to do more than douche-squint, when he realizes his body needs sleep, sustenance, sex. When Dean starts looking at him differently because he IS different, himself yes, but a man also. Idk. They cheated themselves out of awesome canon and totally cheated us.

7. Comic rec: Starfighter. (look @ icon)

8. This year I read The Mind's Eye, Touching the Rock by Hull and now The Quiet Verse feels like a continuation. Jensen's written like a whole body listener, and while he's not ready to surrender to the silence (DO NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE SOUNDLESS NIGHT!) neither is he bitter about it. For some reason, while familiar and instantly recognizable is well and good, imo fresh and original always makes things seem realer. ;D

9. Communities I'm excited about/currently lurking/stalking: [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bookclub, [livejournal.com profile] sd_recs, and [livejournal.com profile] hd_canon_fest (I'm not rly that excited about that one ((not because the comm sux, just that my fandom spirit has waned on h/d)) but I'm using it to get into the H/D mood for x-mass because I've read hd_hols fanfic for the past 5 years and not doing it again would be too, too sad.)

10. tumblr is no longer enemy #1. it's actually lifting my spirits on the whole Cas issue. I know, I accept the title of Fickle Hor and thank you for the crown, it's lovely today, but I may change my mind so stick around. It's so full of Castiel is the ambassador of awesome, trufax and OMG AVENGERS MY BODY IS SO READY/EVERYTHING IS JOSS WHEDON AND NOTHING HURTS, SURPRISINGLY ((UNLESS HE KILLS LOKI, THE BAAASTERD)) that I just click, let my clicker roam and smile. like this: :D. tumblr, bringing a smile to my face since 5 seconds ago though before that it made me want to kick puppies in the face. WHO KNEW?
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (teahouse- pensive)
Under the weather like nobody's business. Makes sense that now that I have a bit more fandom time on my hands because RL has quieted down a bit, I come down with a case of the emineffin' plague. I have to start exercising again, my constitution is for crap. Anyway, whine over (or let me whine about something else ;D) bullets to the rescue.

* Idk bbs. Is it just me or does this fandom like to see drama in the interwebs as well as on the screen? The restarted Sam girl v.s. Dean girl war thingy is so ridiculous. It's like now that canon's gotten rid of Castiel (got linked to a comment by mod from ontd spn who seemed to be dancing on his fictional grave-- which-- wow, dick move mod, I can't shit-talk j2 or Sera but you can Confetti! It's a parade! over the death of a fictional character a lot of people love?) by way of the most infamous Sam-girl ever, these people can go back to blaming one brother while excusing everything the other does, effectively demonizing one bro while infantilizing the other. And that's what it takes to be a True Fan? Blind love for one character? Count me right out, Stan and Bella. I'm Team Get Some Fucking Perspective. Bias: I'm a Sam- girl. spoily ranty spoiler )

* On other news, Pushkin is surprisingly like, easy to read. Read "Eugene Onegin" and it was a total breeze even though the narrator kept getting into it so much ("omg, Pushkin, fuck off!"). Also, I always said I didn't read Romance Novels until this year and I was sooooooooo wrong. Was rereading "The Witching Hour" by Batshit Rice (I'd read her as young teen) and erm-- that shit is a Romance Novel with witches. Also, I have so little patience with fanfics where they describe the characters in loving detail --I think that's kind of the height of amateurish because I'm a horrible nitpicker who picks...nits-- and apparently I had no trouble with that as a teen. Reading so much Fanfic has really made me think about writing, I guess, from a pseudo-technical pov. I was rolling my eyes so much I had trouble reading. Not that I didn't enjoy it, in a way, but I could see the cracks and the stuff I thought came from being unpublished and using fanfic as practice, which hey! totally valid as a fanfic'er less valid when you're a professional asking for the monies. Anyway, point is? Reading fanfic has made me a thinkier reader, which -- cool. Unexpected upside to seeking entertainment.

* Comic rec: Teahouse. My icon is from there, and isn't he pretty?

* Rec'd with prejudice: Land of the Blind I have cycles where I'm just continually hankering for a good apocafic and then cycles where I run away screaming like the fic is a zombie tryna eat my brainz. Also, I love Candle_Beck and her voice. Her voice was custom-made by Chuck to read SPN fic, for real. It's just so boyish, straight-talk, true grit sounding it drives me to eargasms (not actual orgasms, i'm not THAT creepy). Though sometimes, I admit my wussiness readily, I'm wary of her stuff -- because the writing is so honest that I never feel manipulated into feeling and so --fuck my heart breaking-- it cleaves me in two. Some of her fics I love more than others (I RESENT SOME OF HER FICS LIKE TRAUMAS) because I always enjoy hopeful, more than I love hopeless, and this fic, despite being apocalyptic (notice how I don't say POST-apocalyptic, meaning the apocalypse is not over folks), had a hopeful ending. Because, (shut up, I know it's trite) we all kinda go through an apocalypse of our own worlds. We all die. The story always ends with death, but what happens before that? Can leave you trembling, and hollow, and curled under the bed, or trembling, and full and stretched out on top of that same goddamned bed, hopefully next to someone else.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (emotionally yeeeeeessssssss :()

this weekend i finally read Like Luggage of Some Departed Traveller by the inimitable [livejournal.com profile] britomart_is. she has some fics that are so amazingsauce (seriously, click those links, you won't be sorry) and epic and everything i look for in writing, and i never feel like i'm compromising in order to read about "the boys" and Aspergery boy angel (i really hate compromising). it was funny, because i'd just finished reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth," a story about the "Unconsecrated" and here i was starting a fic about "Croats." if the Zombie apocalypse ever comes, i'll be super prepared. i really enjoyed the fic, but i kinda wished we'd have a bit more croat intervention. you know what i mean? i understand that the most important aspect of the fic was the relationship between the characters (dear god, she writes a great Jess, her Dean is completely irresistible and Sam is gorgeous, inside out, even when you want to slap him with a brick) but i kinda missed the threat of Croat every once in a while; that delicious doomy feeling on the pit of my stomach which comes like a bad augur while i read zombie books or watch zombie movies simply wasn't there. she did deal with the OT3 flawlessly, and i --as y'all can see-- am rly rly picky. usually, my experience with OT3 fics is that someone gets just a little bit left out, everybody is so sophisticated and cool about everything that there's no conflict and the sex is so graphic it's soulless. not here. Brit is smarty pants enough to share the spotlight, to write these relationships in such an incredibly charming way, so enjoyable that they all feel vital, all feel necessary, and the sex is scorching and graphic, but never soulless. just hawt like fire. plus, jealousy plays a part in it, which is awesome. i hatehatehate perfect lovers and perfect relationships.

i also watched "Downton Abbey" which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. i'm not kidding guys. this is not the type of period show you watch because you've been told it's so educational and instructive and whatever pretentious blah blah-- this show is just entertaining and fun, and critically acclaimed (and great despite of that ;D).

the result of this mismatch (and Friday's premiere) was that last night i had these recurring dreams of Castiel as a Lord Castiel of Herdhamdonfordfordshire and Dean and Sam as Footman and Chauffeur respectively. i don't rly remember what happened, i just know that now i want to read SPN/DA x-over and that's not happening any time soon.

i did have a dream right before i woke up, which ended quite depressingly on the much written scene where Sam goes off to college, except i mixed it up with that "Thank you for curing me of my incurable obsession with love" scene in "Moulin Rouge." in my dream, Dean walks after Sam as he storm out ("If you go, stay gone.") and hands him an envelope. Sam looks at Dean, surprisedgratefulregretfulface on, he's about to say thank you or no i can't take this, and Dean replies with something to the effect that Sam "earned it" anyway, a wink and a roll of the hips to twist the knife. i woke up feeling tragic. lol

i've seen some debates going around (TUMBLR sneer + ugh!) about who was at fault here, like Dean had to forgive Sam for walking out on the family or Dean was being totally unreasonable about Sam leaving for college. reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" (where something similar happens) i finally understood that Sam leaving was heartbreaking for both of them. i mean, i kind of knew, but TFoHaT really made me totally feel the heartbreak.

i don't want to give too much away, because unwanted spoilers suck, but i think this is so SPN (and maybe just what seems to happen to Dean over and over again) that i wanna share it. xP

"I think that even then I knew I wouldn't be enough for you,...It's no longer about the ocean. It's about you and what you want and need. Maybe you'll be happy with me for a few years..."

He pauses and I can see tears flooding his eyes again. "I can't be your second choice dream."

"Would you give up the ocean for me?"

I hesitate, place a hand on the doorjam. I had once hoped, as it did for my mother, love would keep all other dreams at bay. The realization that it will not washes over me and I walk through the door, leaving him without an answer.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (zombiefied mm)
\o/ lemme just say that i love when strapping young men cuddle each other like cats. for realsies, it's better than sex to me. xP shut up.

/o\ i have been trying to steer clear off any spoilers for S7-Supernatural because i'm worried i'll get my heartbroken and suffer horribly beforehand and during and then after. better to just suffer during and after, despite all rumors to the contrary i am not a masochist. i am apprehensive though. that dread horror movie feeling you get when you know shit is about to go down like Jason on the Titanic. i'm so scared for Castiel-- not necessarily that he may die, because who are we kidding here, this is Supernatural, Jesus's resurrection is nothing next to these biatches. but i am worried that they might ruin the character beyond repair and that Cas-haters will use shoddy canon to get their Cas-hateration on. anyway, i'm already prophesying evil stories in my head, i don't need hysterical commentary and spoilers to make it worst.

\o/ read "Feed" by Mira Grant, and are now even more obsessed than i used to be about zombies. i love apocalypse movies, books, comics. when i was a kid i'd watch and rewatch "The Plague" with Raul Julia and William Hurt like other kids watched "Goonies."

"Feed" is a near-future political thriller where bloggers are respectable journalists with government licenses & pack heat, the Zombie Apocalypse has actually happened, and we survived thanks to savior of mankind: George Romero. WHAT WOULD GEORGE ROMERO DO? there are quite a few zombies still walking the Earth ready to eat us, but we've got the proper technology to survive them, and we do just like we used to survive all the other predators that tried to eat us back in the day of caves and clubs and bows and arrows. in this AU, there are different types of bloggers: Fictionals (who write fic & poetry), Stewarts (who give you news/opinions), Irwins (poking crocks zombies is their specialty), and Newsies (they give you the news straight up, no thrills and frills). in the middle of all this are Newsie!George and Irwin!Shaun Mason, an intrepid brother-sister duo who have been chosen to follow a political candidate in the road to the presidency. it's a book for nerds. yeah, the zombies are a constant threat, but the science behind the infection is a big deal (OMG I FUCKING LOVE WORLD-BUILDING SO MUCH I WANT TO GAY MARRY IN IT IN NY) and so are the characters. in the end, it's not the zombies who are the real bad guys in this story... this is what i love about good sci-fi, how it puts things on a grand scale in order to magnify the little things without being twee or corny about them. love and living large and carpe diem are not that trite when tomorrow your granny might be munching on yr brain.

in a way it's also an issues book (politics/corruption, the integrity of the news & journalists, fame whores, the culture of fear, terrorism, the role of Religion without discernment in promoting wtfuckery, truth and how far you'll go to preserve it, etc.). but a well written issues book. like, it transcends the issues and is all about the story with those issues added in making it all better. not many nerdy, smart, fun zombie books out there and this is one of them.

two --er-- caveats? i don't even know what to call them, because i'm not really warning you about these things, like Shaun would never try to dissuade somebody from walking into a zombie-infested zone because he wouldn't wanna deprive you of fun-- but, just keep your head about you is all i'm sayin.'

uno- not gonna lie there's also a bit of a sam&dean type of relationship going on with cynical George and jaunty, wise-cracking Shaun which left me interested, and no, not in the porny sense. i just love rly intense claustrophobic relationships that don't have a smidgeon of health to them. because screw health on the missionary, i just want intensity, intimacy, the realization that these two people work because of each other and if one of them was to die the other one would be ruined without them. grand passion, you know, and all that.

dos- one thing that didn't quite jive with me was how George would pretend to be a Newsie when she really felt like a Stewart in her blog entries. not objective and free from opinion at all-- specially as the story progressed and she became closer and closer to the Republican candidate. (yes, Republican, but don't hold that against him. the world has gone mad, zombies are walking the Earth and a Republican candidate is actually kinda cool for some of the values of...). that might have been intentional though, i'm still thinking about it.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (i read small words in big print)
let it be known this is just my opinion blah blah blah i'm very picky blah blah blah sometimes i'll change my mind the more i think about a book and often i'll like it less and less blah blah blah.

Swordspoint (relevant to slashy interests)
The Mismeasure of Man
Jane Eyre
The Hunger Games (the first one)
Kushiel's Dart (relevant to slashy & femmeslashy interests)
Dragon Soul (Fandom authors)
The Master and Margarita
Slaughterhouse Five

The Road (sadface)
The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas (sadface)
The Wet Nurse's Tale (saucy & sadface by turns)
The Panda's Thumb
Catching Fire (i started liking the series less and less with each new installment)
The Graveyard Book
Havemercy (Fandom authors)
Liquor: A Novel (relevant to slashy interests)
Gone with the Wind (compellingly readable)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (zzzzzzzzzzzz)
Blood Brothers (i tried, but the Romance genre is not my cuppa. not the author's fault.)
The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks
Wes & Toren
Silver Phoenix (this one moved from the like pile, to the meh pile, to the yuck pile)
Zero at the Bone
Dead until Dark

The Lincoln Lawyer
Whistling in the Dark
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (OH YEAH)
/o\ i wish that different people would audio the same fic. i get seriously turned off by certain voices. was listening to an audiofic for ~poisontaster and had to delete it, and it really sounded like the kind of fic i like-- but i just couldn't get into the voice/voice acting. am i the only nut who can't hear an audiofic if the voice doesn't personally jive? surely not. maybe this the sort of issue only really rude people mention and i'm being really rude without realizing. oh well. i wish audiofic'ers were less territorial/possessive about the fics they narrated, and there could be multiple recordings of fics. surely readers understand that they are not going to appeal to everyone.

/o\ was reading a fic and it started out marvelously. blind!psychic!Sam and Dean who doesn't know him, but needs him to find his father. loved the idea that there is more than one predetermined future ahead of us and that those who can see ahead (in fiction, because i don't believe in Ms Cleo-- YMMV) see more than one possible outcome. then at about chapter 4, gratuitous sexin' with no ratcheting up of tension, no building on connection, just abrupt let's get it on. had to quit reading after that because i was no longer interested. so annoying whenever authors plop down a sex scene (like shit from the sky, a smelly gift from the birds as it were) abruptly like that it feels like telling-intimacy instead of showing-intimacy.

\o/ read "The Wet Nurse's Tale" and thought the story was enjoyable. i seem to like loose women more than i do self-righteous prudes, even if one can claim moral superiority over the other one or whatever. probably my tendency to side with the sinner and side-eye the judge. which totally leads to why

\o/ people need to get off Cas's balls. seriously. Keep Calm and Get off his balls. (unless your name is Dean and you're trying to balance yourself on them. if that's true, then save a halo, ride an angel. you go, boy.)

\o/ i've come to the conclusion that it's not that i love Cas girls (after all, i am a Sam girl who mostly reads S/D) but that tend to hang with fangirls who

- have some sense of perspective
- don't hate all the female characters on the show
- don't confuse "Lisa is 2-dimensional" with "Lisa is a hor, i hope she dies" (creepy hypocrites)
- don't make every argument from the pov of character bashing/character stanning
- know how to share screen time
- appreciate the immortal trolly genius of Ben Edlund
- understand the difference between loving a character and excusing/justifying every action a character makes at the expense of every other character
- don't think of Cas as a BOYFREND stealer, interloper, usurper

i think it's because i had spent hours (marathoned the seasons like they were coke and i was Tony Montana) not years with the Winchesters before boy-angel came along. for me it was a welcome addition, for others it might have broken the tension of WE LIVE ONLY FOR EACH OTHER, WITH EACH OTHER, BY EACH OTHER. the claustrophobia of that relationship might have been something the Wincesters cherished. for me it was like, beautiful, blue-eyed, odd, socially awkward, Aspergers angel with wings? sign me right up. *shrugs*
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (drama lama)
BOO for

*the argument i've seen going around of, "OMG CAS CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT DEAN DOESN'T CALL YOU EXCEPT WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY FOR HIS/HIS FAMILY'S WELL-BEING BECAUSE HE'S CONSIDERATE AND DOESN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU WHILE YOU DO YR THING IN HEAVEN." because that's a load of bs. i mean, really? when one of yr friends is involved in a Perfect Storm of Poo you call them up, offer to help, even if there's nothing you can do. /rachel

* i was reading this J2 fic which seemed to look promising (wtf do i know) and i was a little iffy from the first (the style of writing was a bit o.O for me) but i'd read a Jared/Jensen fic in the past where Jensen was this homeless guy and Jared took him (that's believable as all hell to me) so i wanted to find a fic where Jared was the homeless guy and Jensen took him in (less believable/more of a stretch imo) but i couldn't stand the fic. i had to get the hell out of Dodge --almost broke my mouse backclicking-- because it was one of those OH WHAT HAVE I DONE! fics and apparently i have acquired some kind of allergy to the WHAT HAVE I DONE trope where one of the characters makes a mistake and spends the whole fic trying to make up for his oh so horrible mistake while the other character acts like a complete woobie. makes me want to slap people across the face with magic bricks. for real. like, i never realized how much i hated those kinds of fics and how manipulative they felt to me. ewwww. i'd rather read a chan scat watersport noncon mpreg fic. no, i wouldn't, but almost.



*Baby West being so chuckblessed adorable. OMG. already a scenestealer, i swear. ♥
*SPN CHAT. i had an awesome time last friday. those girls are cray-cray.
* Jensen living it up in a Ren-F and looking scrufftastically gorgeous. that kind of thing reminds me that actors are actually artists and that it's not just about the business.
* Jane Eyre being as awesome as i remember and more than i remembered.
* THE GREEN LANTERN stfu. i know. i know, frat boy doing his frat boy thing, idgaf. I LOVE THAT OATH, THOUGH. I LOVE IT. plus, Blake is really, really hawt in that coltish way that makes me want to see her walk and stumble and dress up her boyish body so that it looks kind of androgynous. *shrugs*
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (pink glasses)
* i miss seeing [livejournal.com profile] leonidaslion around. like, sure she's at the Archive, but it's just not the same.

* read "Pope Joan" and yeah, cool female character, but the novel suffers from what a LOT of novels seem to suffer from (hello Silver Phoenix) which is that there seems to be a quota of how many awesome female characters are allowed per book. yeah, quota of one: the freakin' protagonist, and every other woman has to be silly, childish, treacherous, petty, deceitful, envious, conniving, etc.

*watched Never Let Me Go and omg MY GODDAMNED CRYES.

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Andrew is as beautiful and as vulnerable as-- idk. i've got no talent for pretty non-scatological imagery. just think of something beautiful and easily broken. this performance was a wonder. not to mention Keira who acted the hell out of her role, selfish and self-sacrificing by turns and being completely believable at it too. Carey? feels like she's been acting forever. also? not annoyed by her quirky little mouth, which yeah, i usually dislike actors who twist their mouth because i'm odd like that.

*this reviewer is a fucking asshole. i can't believe you can write an article in this day and age where you say that girls won't watch fantasy if you don't throw some love interests in it and have the ny times publish the stinker. o.O wtaf.

*ilu Fandom. what brought this on? nothing, just-- fangirls can be awesome people. search me. * shrugs*
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (werd to yr uncle perv)
*looking at all the con vids (seriously? the people who vid, the people who photograph and twitter and transcribe, the people who compile all this epic together? you are so fucking awesome. dear god. i have no words. seriously.) and though J2 have chemistry up the wazoo, Misha and Jensen have kind of a --idk how to describe it. like, Jensen always seems to act all steady, logical, timid and commonsensical next to Jared's crazy, goofy crackiness, but with Misha it's almost like they have this friendly competitiveness of who is going to be more cray-cray and more up for anything? it's really genius to see Jensen loosen up like that and Misha preform for him like some weird form of courtship behavior. no, i don't actually believe anybody's sleeping together ('cept possibly Sebastian with ERRYONE) but yeah. if this wasn't real life, Misha would be displaying. ;D

*i need to watch Hawaii like yesterday. errybody's raving about how everything is gay and nothing hurts unless you want it to and i'm HELLA INTRIGUED.

*read "Push" which was awesome. i'd read some of Sapphire's work before, so i was totally prepared for the high kick to the solar plexus which is how most of her writing feels like. i did think it was gonna take me a bit of time to accommodate to the jargon/slang/Precious' particular way of spewing, but no. the writing was relentless enough that i felt carried along. haven't seen the movie yet and don't find myself particularly inclined to, which i guess is weird, but-- well, it's like when you watch something you love, but don't have any desire to find any fanfic.

*tis the month no? (the one i read was about "wilding" or something like that, basically about men looking for young women to gangrape in the park. this one is less gut-wrenching.)

Breaking Karma #5
by Sapphire


It is like a scene in a play.
His bald spot shines upward between dark tufts of hair.
We are sitting in a pool of light on the plastic
covered couch, Ernestine, his last live-in,
ended up with. But that is the end.

We are sitting in the beginning of our lives now
looking at our father upright in his black
reclining chair. It's four of us then, children,
new to Los Angeles--drugs, sex, Watts burning,
Aretha, Michael Jackson, the murder of King,
haven't happened yet.

He is explaining how things will be--
Which one will cook, which one will clean.
"Your mama," he announces, "is not coming."

Two thousand miles away in the yellow
linoleum light of her kitchen, my mother
is sitting in the easy tan-colored man's lap.
Kissing him. Her perfect legs golden like
whiskey, his white shirt rolled up arms
that surround her like the smell of cake baking.

"Forget about her," my father's voice drops like
a curtain, "she doesn't want you. She never did."


Holding the photograph by its serrated edges, staring,
I know the dark grey of her lips is "Jubilee Red"
her face brown silk. I start with the slick
corner of the photograph, put it in my mouth like it's
pizza or something. I close my eyes, chew, swallow.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (swing)
* my laptop has taken a turn and i thought she was just sickly, but no. she ded. RIP trusty friend, you were with me for (3) years and now you're gone. you shall be missed. joking aside (i'm not rly joking, i was emotionally attached to her) this sucks. i had so much epicness collected inside Eunice. :( woe. lost, all those pics, movies, videos, fanvids, icons, lost. shit. -_-

* read "The Lincoln Lawyer" and meh. it was alright i guess...idk. i think i've gotten spoiled by Fandom's (pick any Fandom) deft hand at characterization. like, take Mickey "Mouth" Haller, the protag of TLL and i get it, i know what Connelly wants to pull (everybody does is kinda the point). Mickey's a bit of a dirt bag (he's a defense lawyer, la di dah) but he also has enough of a conscience that when he gets called a legal con-artist he feels it in his dusty worn heart. it's like, hey, here's this basically good guy who has done some bad/questionable things --like his clients OH THE IRONY or whatever-- because of his situation, the gray areas *which are heavily pointed out to throughout* make him all flawed (we are too sophisticated for "perfect" aren't we ?? @.@) and interesting. except that i've been habituated to characterization that flirts with me all coy and suave in a round-about way (OMG ARE THEY FLIRTING OR ARE WE JUST FRIENDS?!?). makes me work for it. the character development in TLL felt more anvil-like-in-yr-lap-boob-slap-across-the-face than anything. these days a lot of published books feel like they're written for people who never read. CHUCKDAMN YOU, WRITE FOR PEOPLE WHO READ! jesushchrist.

*missed The Borgias, damn it. waiting so long for it and then i just got wrapped up in "Mildred Pierce" and totally forgot about Mr. Jeremy Irons. i'm liking MP a LOT. the relationship that Mildred has with her daughter Veda is just so dysfunctional and skeevey and weird and rly close and claustrophobic and full of distrust and animosity and passionate emotions. very weird dynamic there and feels like it should be set in Ancient Rome not in the US in the 40's. wouldn't surprise me if somebody asked for some Yuletided femmeslash. but yeah, gotta go find me some Borgia.

*read The Year of Letting Go (oldie but goodie) and liked the fic, except the last bit where they have this incredibly squicky (to me) scene when Bobby finds out the boys take their bromance rly seriously and idk, which totally turned me off. like i started thinking about the author and how maybe she was trying to say --through Bobby-- that people who think adult consensual incest is wrong are ignorant and KILL THE BEAST afraid of what they can't understand and i stopped thinking about the story itself. i don't like that. i don't like being suddenly pulled out of the story and into an agenda-pushing wormhole. i'm not saying i blame the author for that, because she can't control what i think at any given moment, but it colors my experience of the fic (it's sad, 'cause it's in the last paragraph or something) that's for sure.
swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (drunk on girl)
*those photographs of 6x18 are making me grin for days. spoilerspoiler )

*i was re-reading "Gone with the Wind" --which I hadn't read since idk? childhood? i've always been kind of curious about the South, so from an pretty early age i started reading books set in Dixie like they were set in a foreign country. reading GwtW is more like reading fantasy, no-- more like reading about a Dystopic world where a society fueled by slavery is considered glamorous and precious. that's the only way I could read about a Rhett Butler who killed an "uppity" n-word for insulting a white woman and not vomit up rage, because i remembered exactly how i read WATCHMEN and just When in Rome'd it. i guess that's how most people read GwtW these days. i hope it's not for the romance, though i've got to admit that Scarlett/Butler are the most dysfunctional couple in Christendom and assholes can be strangely attractive in fiction. they're like Liz and Darcy without any of the redeeming qualities that make all the fangirls want to be Darcy and want to marry Lizzie. ;D the novel was so freaking readable i pretty much breezed through the gazillion pages. now I want to read "Kindred" by Octavia E. <3

*[livejournal.com profile] furiosity is looking for great female characters of the last 20 years, here. some of mine? Elena, Carne Tremula; Agrado, Todo Sobre Mi Madre; Ofelia, Pan's Labyrinth; Shoshanna, Inglorious Basterds; Mathilda, The Professional; Phedre, Kushiel's Dart; Patty Hewes, Damages; Nicolette Grant, Big Love. there are a lot more inspiring ladies, but i thought these were mainstream/obscure enough (maybe not) not to overlap and be rec'd over and over.

in f.'s words: I define a "great" female character as anyone who has inspired me, whose actions or words moved me in a way that lasted, or who is memorable to me in an empowering way -- your definition doesn't have to be the same, and we don't have to agree on what's inspiring, lasting, or empowering.


swan_bite: Anna eating some cotton candy and looking smug about it (Default)

July 2015

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